I think you need to separate these issues. Economic pressure is a separate concern that doesn't stem from a more arbitrary source. A society can and should shield you from it, but doing so will always create societal expectations on someone else.

If you cannot provide for yourself, someone else has to do so. That someone else technically might be subjected to societal expectations to not leave you behind because he has the means to do so. Mothers still have large expectation on them on how they have to treat their children. If those run around freely, you will get a lot pressure in the US. Quite a silly country. But I believe this is an exception to the general development.

I separate purely economic pressure from the moral and ethical requirements you have today and these are clearly declining in my opinion. These were always subjected to change, but usually expectations get exchanged for new ones and old ones are done away with.

Weird gender science, middle eastern war or domestic politics experts are loud and they do indeed put forward expectations. But their ambitions aren't generally awarded by society, on the contrary. Sometimes for very good reason, sometimes not. But generally there are far less expectations for behaviour, expression, opinions. Also sometimes for good reason and sometimes not.

I think most societies lost expectations and care less about their environment (no in the ecological sense, but that too...).

> The examples you give implies people are ok with being bums on the street (and if you think that life is "easy", boy, you're massively detached from reality).

Which part of the comment implies this?

those things are evidence of that societal pressure relaxing...they simply weren't an option before.

He means for normal people, sure if you go around assaulting people like you could in the unenlightened times you get more pressure. What you both mean by "pressure" is oversocialization you are just looking at 2 sides of the same coin. Well his point is more about people feeling uncared for, I doubt that drives people to suicide. One explaination is that is could this mental l strain could increase the liklihood for mental illness, but that's flat for men in the articles age bracket. You posit that people kill themselves because they have a tough life, again that isn't born out in the data. Indeed collecting data for this is akin to hitting a dartboard while drunk and skydiving and the board is 2 miles away.

The point of society you can increase "true freedom" by restricting people's ability to act arbitrarily, so called "naive freedom". If people can't accept that then they can go live in the woods (not anymore), the ocean, the moon? mars? or end it.

From time immemorial the winners shaped society what do you think happened to the losers? Just because we leave them alive now doesn't mean they can live in the new world.

Also "highest ever" among some specific arbitrary demographic isn't very meaningful enough to draw out anything beyond free association.

Everyone can't be a plumber.

In fact one of the worst "trade offs" of the trades is they can very much be a young mans game.

It gets real hard to sling water heaters up/down tight stairs or pull cable in a 100+ degree attic into your 50s.

It's a spectrum, with "physical" and "mental" at each end.

Some of Software folk i know move to repairing electronic devices for living. He still works in AC-room, but instead of holding mouse and keyboard most of the time, now he holds meter probe and soldering iron.

Physical jobs will drop in demand and increase in supply too. Unemployed "mind" workers don't have much to spend to drive much demand in manual work, and they might even try to pivot themselves to manual work, making things worse for manual workers.

I guess being soldiers in the war against robots and their owners is a kind of physical job

yeah, you're down to like 3/4 a career left, it makes sense that you feel that way. Less runway ought to feel different.

I do agree that a safe 'next' is unclear. But I also think if ai truly hits all knowledge work as hard as it might we're looking at up to 50% unemployment. Frankly there is no point career planning at all in that scenario. We will all have much larger problems.

And if it doesn't, then pivoting to some field with a combination of rewarding work and 'enough' pay seems sensible enough.

Yes, men who have children do go through nihilistic existential mid life crises too. That age has their biggest risk of cheating on their partners, fathering new children with work colleagues, walking away from marriage, developing drug and alcohol dependency, developing serious gambling problems and other worse things. Parenthood reduces but does not eliminate the risk of suicide in middle aged men, and parenthood plus long term joblessness is a common cause.

Midlife anxieties are real and nothing in particular prevents it.

I can imagine having kids is super rewarding, but also amplifies the pressure of being a provider probably 100x. In uncertain times, I think a lot of us aren't sure how we'll provide for ourselves in ~5 years, let alone a tiny dude, which plays into the decision to not have kids.

I'm still gainfully employed, and business is ripping, but a huge part of my value as a professional got totally vaporized over the last year. So part of me is extremely glad I don't have kids right now, and part of me is really angry that everything feeling so unstable is leading to our decision to not have them. I know that even in the best time it's a scary decision, but the general vibe is flipping people (like my wife and i) who are at the margin.

I don't dismiss or discount your perspective but based on my social circle: Your experience of fatherhood is not the median. The variance is pretty high too.

I would think those with kids at that age that wanted them worked backwards from that mission, and if they have a midlife crisis it's some version of having spent too much time working and on their kid and start spending their money on low-impact possibly expensive hobbies they'd have liked to do in their younger years, somewhat in denial of the fact that they sold their whole life to the man despite raising a kid.

that's what I felt about moving to a different country, too, until I didn't.

I think these things are less consistent than is often stated, we just see them occur consistently among people with similar lives. The "mid life crisis" is also debunked and replaced by "existential crisis" since it can actually occur at any age, from teenager to elderly, and zero, one, or multiple times. Only in the classic life progression of a certain era, it typically occurred worst at around 40-45 so it got that label.

Kids will not always be kids.

Kids loose interest in you as they age and do their own stuff. You are necessary for their survival, but they prefer company of peers. And then they leave.

All of that is normal, but you are left alone and if taking the kid somewhere was your only thing, you have nothing.

Yes. Come on, I love my kid, but you can't seriously be asking this question. Fatherhood is in fact sometimes part of what they're so dissatisfied with.

No, we don't have kids and that's the problem.

More: Every time we point to this situation, we get insulted as incels. Sorry, I'm a multi millionaire, so I can provide, muscular, so I don't look too bad and have my health in order, CEO so I have some social status, and my love life has been terrible, I'm thinking of going to prostitutes to close the loop on being treated like shit.

Clearly there's something wrong in the dating market, women don't want to make families anymore, they literally don't want kids, and those who do, it's with wifeveaters. I know, "it must be you", "all men find women so you're probably a cunt" — I get it, I get it. We're truely the lost souls of today's world.

The only thing keeping me alive is the idea of revenge against the people who insult us like this.

Don't forget that social security has been raided and won't even be available for those of us reaching middle age right now and the people we keep electing who say they will do something about it have shown over and over and over that they actually won't.

Anomie plus helplessness plus a feeling of a rug pull of the laws/equality/character of our country. I am not suicidal but wow I get it.

I thought it was possible a generation could have it worse off through an economic crisis or period of 70s style malaise, but I at least thought the government would attempt to improve the lives of its citizens. I didn't expect the ruling political party to be so aggressively trying to make our lives worse.

You never heard of people who kill their kids and then off themselves?

Mental illness finds a way.

I have enough money to live a relatively meagre existence. Anything on top of that is welcome.

Okay. Can you think of some groups which have a low sense of agency/few options, yet have a high suicide rate because of their lack of purpose and identity?

I'm looking for evidence against this theory, so I'm very interested if you can find it. But I think it's going to be hard, because they're going to be correlated: if you have a weak sense of self and purpose, then very likely your options will all seem bad too. And even if you have a strong sense of who you are and what your purpose is, failing to live up to the identity society and yourself assign to you (because all the options you have fail at living up to it) then you could well call that "having your identity taken away from your".

Opinions are great and all but do you have actual data to back it up ?

We can separate the table clearing from how we treat the players of the previous game.

We don't have many coal miners any more. How do we treat the people who used to be coal miners, when we get to 100% clean power? If we are running society well, we give them a hero's sendoff and a nice comfortable retirement life. If we are running society poorly, we take away their homes and healthcare to punish them for not having jobs any more.

IME cycling a recumbent can ease stress on the back. https://sheldonbrown.com/org/greenspeed-index.html

Sure its a little off putting but if you've the time and money it could be worth trying.

Are you me? My old motorbike injuries are a little more distributed but -- like yours -- almost entirely crippling from the perspective of doing anything joyful; we're in the same bucket yearwise; and it sounds like we always visit the doctor with just the one bullet in the chamber.

Mostly just posting to say, hey, there's others out here like you. Hang in there, Almost-Me. If not, see you on the other side.

A hurting back on a bike might be an issue of bike fit. Bicycle touring is a hobby regarded as accessible to even the elderly, and indeed one often comes across people age 50-80 on popular routes. Many of them will complain about a bad back off the bike when doing other things like camping or carrying panniers, but a fitted bike should not strain one's back.

Deadlifts helped my chronic congenital back pain that is probably some combination of DDD and scoliosis and multiple herniations. Yes sometimes it pisses off the disks and I'm pretty useless for a day or two. And yes it has added some other problems. But overall I went from constant sharp pain nearly unable to remain seated, to occasional dull pain I can ignore, and rarely some really bad pain. Overall it's much better of a life.

Have you tried drinking cherry juice? I heard moving to Washington can help due to the air there.

For most people, the real physical deterioration doesn't have to kick in until age 65 or so (plus or minus). But you do have to show up every day and hit it hard. In the last triathlon I raced there were men in that age group still finishing with fast times. And they're not genetic freaks either, just consistent.

FWIW, you can remain in pretty extraordinary physical shape through your 50s as a matter of biology. You do have to put in the work though.

I agree for SWE specifically that AI is changing the career dramatically, and in a way that makes life less predictable. But I don’t know how the definition of success has changed - at least in America it still seems to be good professional job plus family.

Right. Has that changed? Asking genuinely.

I'm a bit of an AI pessimist, but creating new prime locations is one thing I do think AI could feasibly do. I have been involved in regeneration projects for 30 years and so many of the limiting factors could theoreticslly be eliminated by AI.

I celebrated 20 years since my last drink on Monday of this week.

People who want to drink--should drink.

People who don't want to drink but find that they keep doing it anyway, might want to check out what AA has to offer. It worked for me when nothing else did.

I switched to NA beer so that when I did decide to “have a few” it would be a rare occasion. Then I realized that NA beer was doing it for me and I haven’t gone back. It’s not for everyone but it worked for me.

I quit 2 years ago. The juice wasn't worth the squeeze. Sad, to think at one time I almost opened a brewery.

And it's bad for you, yes, and that's why I quit, it was fucking with my sleep horribly, but also it's such a drain on your finances today. And given the state of things today, I'm glad I quit when I did. Saving a grand a year isn't a lot but that money is much better off being spent in a different way.

Fair, stopping better. It's a tough thing for many to imagine though. It took a break for me to understand I needed to do more.

Read my other comment in the thread. Why would I post a non-sincere comment on this anyway? My belief is that all of us, no matter our gender, religion, age or social standing, are prey for the political and "elite" class. And not only we aren't holding them accountable, we are fighting their fights for them in several fields of our lives in form of "political discourse".

My country has a very serious housing crisis, both the left and the right are contributing to it because both parties have multiple people who are "serial landlords" with several properties, so they only make laws that benefit the landlord. This is a known fact and there are huge protests ongoing about it to the point emergency elections have been called.

Yet, saying this simple stance just as I did now, that both of them are guilty, will have people call you an "ultra" or call you a conspiracy theorist, that you are a fence sitter, that you don't know what you are talking about, and so and so on. Like you have some ulterior motive or are a paid shill from the other side or making the logic leap to thinking you support the far-right for not choosing one of the two existing "teams". Everything has gone crazy.

Idk. The thing with politics is I see the bat shit crazy stuff that social promotes then I see it almost verbatim when I’m out and about IRL.

Family members post absolute vitriol online. Then they want to make sure you read it and agree with them at thanksgiving dinner. Any type if civil discussion of differing views instantly devolves into name calling and insults.

Weird times.

>Nihilism is a dead end (or political cynicism/fatalism, whatever you want to call it).

Nihilism is a popular, vague pejorative today but philosophically it's a serious answer to exactly the manipulation, engagement-bait and juvenile techno-optimism of our age. Whenever you're at the end of some moral or social period active, not resentful or passive nihilism, is a palate cleanser and necessary condition for revaluation of all values.

The kind of middle aged men that tend to fall into despair or suicide in these times are usually people who rely on some identity provided to them that then crumbles. Job, money, house, status, 'how to be a man' etc. There's something they're supposed to be like and they're not, stability they took for granted just stops.

And we're in a period like this across many dimensions, political, technological etc. And if you want to be sane a dose of nihilism is fairly important so that you can go on and construct some sovereign answers to all these issues.

Sadly I can't raise a family. This January I got a pretty bad brush with death and got diagnosed with something pretty bad and I don't have a lot left. After 5 high-risk surgeries (because of the medication making me bleed too much) I finally regained some autonomy and can move again, but I can't have kids. My bloodline ends with me, and it's better this way because this is hereditary and gets worse every generation. My kids would die at ~20 if lucky, according to the doctors.

Even knowing this, people around me still called me all sorts of things for not having strong opinions on random political things or wars. How can I worry about that when I am going to die soon anyway? Got enough in my plate to think about global politics.

"Go talk to real people" is easier said than done post-Covid. I'm in a European university city where even young people are complaining online of a dearth of opportunities for in-person socializing -- there is a good amount of cultural events and cafes to go out to every night, but it has become taboo to talk to strangers there even among young people, and a single middle-aged man's attempts to socialize anywhere would not be welcomed. Even people attending the remaining hobby meetups are finding merely practice of the hobby, but not any meaningful social contact alongside it.

Social media is poison, sure, but detaching from it doesn't mean you can get an IRL social life to replace it.

Encouraging people to procreate is absolutely wild to me. That's just adding fuel to the fire.

You just proved my point.

"This is a bait comment". Shame on you.

This is an unbelievably atrocious response. Where is your humanity?

It's ironic that the "acktually.." atheist/anti-theist crowd don't do a modicum of research when it comes to this kind of stuff. It's pretty well-established in the literature that folks plugged into a religious community live better, happier, and healthier lives[1].

Millenial cynicism is so boring.

[1] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5127763/

To each their own. I don’t think we should judge anyone on where they find their faith, that is, the drive to keep going on. Everyone is different.

Person A might find it in nature, camping, trailing, etc. Person B might pursue a more spiritual path, giving back to the community, being of service.

Whatever floats the boat man. Live and let live.

Not religious, but also not disputing that believers have lower rates of depression either.

Believing in a higher power has seemed to provide great comfort to a number of friends and family over the years. I went to a friend's father's funeral a while back, and I had to admit, the service, the way the community came together was moving, and it really made me question whether I should return to the church as an adult, even with my questions of faith.

The problem is that humans evolved to be religious, and you can't just ignore that and get rid of it in a generation or two. It is in our brains and we have to live with it somehow. So from that perspective ... maybe Jesus does cure depression.

He said something about moths and rust consuming matter and with that at the very least he pointed out quite clearly the source of our suffering in regards to the AI transformation

I don't know about Jesus curing depression, but it's certainly true that belief in Jesus has made many people feel better.

No it’s not.

Anthropic has more powerful models internally. Why aren’t they laying off staff and stopping hiring?

You guys clearly don’t understand the difference between a) writing code b) building business operations

Please show me the few-man team that are killing it with llm’s writing most of the code - it doesn’t exist! It’s fantasy land stuff.

I mean if you want to get all Nietzsche about it, then suicide is no longer a permanent solution.

Do you not see a benefit in coding for the mental exercise and challenge?

Most hobbies are impractical... Machines can produce clothes much faster than a knitter, no chess player will beat the best computers, a boat can bring more fish to port in one trip than you can in a year, etc.

Try see if you can find some physical hobby that has nothing to do with computers.

Mine is gardening. With relatively little effort, I can grow a decent amount of foods, much of it interesting varieties that are not grown commercially anywhere. I really doubt that we're going to see affordable humanoid robots out-competing me in this hobby any time soon.

Hey maybe publish it anyway. There are still some of us who are specifically looking for human-made things.

> and there's no point to it. Anything I write will be outdone in 2 seconds by someone else.

That's OK, you don't have to be the best at any one thing. The important thing about any hobby, be it programming, skateboarding, or playing the piano, is that you feel personal satisfaction in doing it, not in the reactions of people to your work. Your enjoyment of a hobby should never be based on whether or not people like it, or even whether or not they want to use the thing you created. If you feel that a project that you are working on could be summed up in a single prompt that can be given to an LLM, then your job is not to work on the project directly, but rather to find what makes what you are doing unique. It doesn't even have to be technically interesting or bring any new ideas to the table, just the fact that somebody has put in effort into making something (regardless of completion or quality) gives it value.

>Anything I write will be outdone in 2 seconds by someone else.

Then it's not really a hobby, no? Sounds more like a weird competition.

>But before I could, many many others had an LLM do the same thing and my work was obsolete in a moment. There went that hobby... so now I'm hunting a new one...

That sounds more like a job, at least with your perspective.

>I gain no joy from that, the joy I would have gained would be from other people using my work. Now they can produce my work without me entirely...

That's a job, man. Even if you're not getting paid money for it, you're not really doing it for yourself.

The point is a bit moot cause it's the same difference: you can get joy from a "job" and AI making that job obsolete sucks regardless. But if that's what you think a hobby is, then you don't have an actual hobby.

Go take up gardening.

A hobby is something you do for yourself. Whether it's code, or painting, or woodworking.... you don't care if someone is better or faster than you. Unless you really see the hobby as a potential business, in which case you might want to reevaluate because with LLMs it's possible for an individual to do more by himself than ever before.

I keep wanting to say the same thing. In fact, how other people describe hobbies is why I don't like the term hobbies.

I think music is a good example of sometimes you need to not have fun to have fun. Practice isn't really fun, but if you can put up with it you can have a lot of fun. So you can say that the not fun parts are part of the fun parts because it's what gives you the payoff. But when people then go and send you a Suno generated song, and say it's better than yours, it is them devaluing the "not fun" parts you had to put up with. I've had people do similar things to code projects I've done. It's a real buzz kill.

I also really value when musicians critique my songs, even when I feel defensive about it. Because then it's not about them devaluing my time, it's about them helping me grow, and they know how it feels to go through that process.

Not liking being bad at your hobbies is much different than not finding joy in them because people do them better than you. I work harder to be a better cook, it doesn't mean I'm in competition with people who cook better.

Sure. But AI doesn't make you bad at hobbies. It just makes others better at it, and even that is a stretch.

>I've been learning the piano recently and striving to play more difficult songs is what makes it fun.

And are you going to give up learning piano because now AI can just generate piano music better than anything you can ever produce? No? Then what you're doing is a proper hobby, which contrasts with the OP who feels their efforts are no worthless because AI can just do it better. That's not really a hobby; it's a job.

How did AI make you "bad" at your hobbies?

(Apologies if I'm missing your point)

Not the author you're replying to but I don't understand this reply at all? What variables? What oversimplifying?

They simply said

> Why do you imagine yourself you be in competition with others while doing hobbies? Do you not find pleasure in the doing?

Which... I don't understand how that is oversimplifying. If your hobby is golf are you unable to enjoy golf because you're not as good as the pros? If your hobby is music can you not enjoy it because you aren't going to win a Grammy award?

If you enjoy programming or working on something an LLM can do... can't you just enjoy doing it without an LLM? Heck there are plenty of people that will probably seek it out because of how many people hate AI being used in programming.

There are your Paul Feyerabend s and there are your reddit atheists which the HN crowd tend towards, who simplify all complex relations in the world to Scientific, Testable, Linear logic. It may as well be as a result of the education system or the Industrial Revolution, but that is the prevalent logic in the world. Unfortunately we do not live in a time of philosophy anymore

>I'm sorry, but this is not realistic.

It's realistic to want to be competitive. But as soon as your "hobby" becomes competitive, at least in this sense, it ceases to be a true hobby. It effectively just becomes work.

Nothin' wrong with the OP feeling disheartened by AI taking away his "hobby"/job, but AI will never be able to take away a "true" hobby because a "true" hobby is something where such external factors are irrelevant.

You'll notice that people who lift weights, run marathons, maintain a garden, tinker with models, etc., are effectively immune to AI. An AI won't lift your weights for you or tend to your garden for you. Maybe one day it could technically do that, but it doesn't matter, because you simply wouldn't have it do that for you. And it wouldn't matter if AI is doing that for others, because you're not competing with others. You're doing it for yourself.

Hehe yeah. Perhaps I exaggerate with "I _loathe_ every. single. minute. of weightlifting." More precisely, I never _look forward_ to a workout.

I don't hate every squat. In fact, it's (I can't believe I'm saying this) somewhat satisfying in the moment whenever I do decide to go RIR=0. I'm wiped, but like, in a "hell yeah I did that" way.

But starting a session? I'm still as reticent as I was on day 1 lol. Maybe someday I'll pick up a sport or something as the others suggest, but I love programming too much to pick up other hobbies >_>

Perhaps my advice was too narrow/specific to my situation. If you can't deadlift, then don't. But there are many other things you can do, as the other commenters have suggested.

But if you're in the mentality of _not wanting_ to have anything, then all the advice in the world will bounce off you.

My suggestion, then, is to work on that mentality. Do something to get you anything, to get you out of that "Many of us have nothing" mindset. Build momentum. Physically doing something is often what it takes to break a mental barrier. The mind spirals and digs a hole, especially at night. But you get to participate in life/society/people during the day, which is why doing bodily things affects the mind and can break its loops.

You won't "win" on the first attempt. But you'll make progress. And the real win-condition is to keep playing.

The first step is always the hardest. I wish you the best.

I like JRPGs from the early 2000s. I haven’t settled on one that I like enough to specialize in yet. It’s a bit of a time commitment, as you can imagine.

Nah man there are many people like those in Southern Europe and Western Asia. A lot of them are married. For good or bad.

> but it goes mostly to the gut

This is so weird to me if you're always working out as you said. What are you doing at the gym? Compound barbell movements with heavy weights will absolutely prevent this and get you jacked in the right places.

Have you actually done a proper bulk/cut cycle? Gaining fat is normal when bulking, then you cut (lose the fat while maintaining the muscle).

You can avoid the downsides by being very informed. Sounds like you're still early in the journey.

I sympathize with being 3 sigma on the distribution... I'm four sigma out myself. My total T is around 1200ng/dl with most everything in my bloodwork related to hormones being a genetic freak. And, yes, I'm natural. Even with my extremely high T - probably twice yours - I struggle to gain any muscle at all and look like I've never lifted a weight in my life.

I'm still doing steroids next year because I'm tired of not seeing results for my insane effort.

If you're just growing in the stomach then you're doing something wrong. Check macros - should be overly high protein. Eat only 500 calories surplus per day. Your stomach will get larger just from food volume. Your stomach will always be large if you're on a bulk - it's supposed to be full all the time.

After you gain 20lb over about 20 weeks - reasses. As it is - it sounds like you haven't done really serious tracking. When I'm bulking/cutting - I don't eat anything unless every ingredient goes on a scale and I track everything down to the gram. One way to make less lifestyle less painful is to do meal prep and label all your meal tins with the macros. (Or just be obnoxious and measure everything out where each tin is the exact same - harder to do)

Get a dexascan a couple weeks into your bulk then a couple months in. You'll be able to tell if you're only gaining fat or if you're gaining lean body mass. Same process with cutting. Your eyes might not be well trained.

No idea. Just kept trying shit from random reddits. One recommended something with a certain strain. The digestive advantage 4 in 1 seemed to help for a while. It has BC30, GBI30, 6086. I can't remember which was less common in probiotics but one of those apparently was the one that would help me.

I didn't even think that these things had "different strains" - I thought they were just random junk mail spam they'd throw in your gut but I guess some are concentrated with different bacteria that can help me. Honestly I should get back on it because I've been suffering greatly lately.

in the west you have better odds the woman has similar or even higher living standard and income than you, so there is lower chance you will become walking ATM regardless of age difference (though obviously with 20 years younger woman it is very likely it will happen even in the west)

That sounds like a good deal! Staying with friends and family sounds like good company, and saves on costs.

Plenty of good weather down in Yuma. Sunniest city on earth! You got friends/family there too?

Have you watched any videos by @AdamDoesNotExist on YouTube [0]? He does some random/crazy Amtrak trips, but apart from that I enjoy his nice habit of when things going wrong of saying "and that's ok because ...", trying to find some good in the bad.

p.s. ignore sibling that comment criticising your trip

[0] https://www.youtube.com/@AdamDoesNotExist

I would rather recommend flying to Southeast Asia, much better value for your money, you can stay there easily 5-10 times longer for the same money as in the US, while experiecing different cultures/cuisines to get different perspective on life.

> surrender to the other side (Russia I believe?) and spend 1-2 years [...] citizenship proceedings [...]

I almost read it as an insult, but I'll assume that you either forgot or didn't know one peculiar fact: Russian army almost never keeps their POWs alive, and even if it does, it absolutely never lets them out of the army into Russia - only back into Ukraine, through the battlefield.

this would be a valid option if I was a Russian who does not want to fight Ukraine, sure. Ukraine is ± alright with Russian POWs, partly because we have Europe watching over our shoulders. the reasoning behind your idea is sound, assuming that both sides wage an honest and Geneva-accurate war, except that Russia prefers to utilize the Genevan convention as a piece of toilet paper.

so, your idea effectively becomes suicidal, but you also get a great deal of suffering. why not cut the suffering while I can?

You're probably was lucky to be born in war-free region, so it is easy to label things as ghoulish from a position of morally concerned outsider. You was never forced to leave your homeland and become a refugee, you was not separated from your loved ones by the border of warring countries, your friends and loved ones were not killed or imprisoned by invading nazi army. And it's a good thing for yourself, but you are not in a suitable position to judge Ukrainians or Syrians or other peoples who have been through it.

This consistent oversimplification and allergy to reading actual history and being an informed citizen is what ensures these types of wars will continue

Yeah wishing to see people who tried to torture and kill you dead is ghoulish.