> Go to a conservative US christian state, join a church

While this strategy can work, it also means your kids will likely be taught hell is a real place most of humanity will go to suffer in eternal flames. (Possibly from a very young age.) Does not help with mental health.

Red states also have quite a lot of racism, IME. So be sure to be at least passing as white and with little or no accent.

> I bet the issue is that you do in fact have a standard and that standard is the barrier.

Among the guys I've known this seems to be the biggest factor. Of course ladies have their own expectations. Everyone seems to relax them as they get older.