| ▲ | ikerino a day ago |
| Eh, this just feels like "software engineering simulator." I don't have autism but a good bit of this feels familiar (am I on the spectrum?) I'm an introvert and have struggled to cope with corporate work for a while. What helps: - Challenging the idea that you need to mask to be successful. If masking is a recipe for burnout, then it actually seems like it's a strategy that will lower your chance for success. How much of the need here is self-imposed? - Owning your calendar and timing for meetings to better suit your energy. - Regular therapy and reflection, honestly. - Regular exercise, doesn't matter who you are or what form, this is essential. I can respect that this "simulation" fosters empathy, but worry that it also awfulizes/catastrophizes solvable problems. Figuring out functional routines and managing burnout is just as big a part of the job as writing code. It's very much a personal responsibility, maybe not in the job description, maybe harder for some than others, but it is our responsibility. |
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| ▲ | munchler a day ago | parent | next [-] |
| Heck, this isn’t even specific to software engineering. It’s basically just a “getting through the workday” simulator. I think there are a great many people who find working in an office exhausting. Personally, I was so much happier once I switched to remote work. |
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| ▲ | fragmede a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| > Challenging the idea that you need to mask to be successful... How much of the need here is self-imposed? Autistic people don't come into the world as fully formed adults with irrational ideas about the need to mask. They start off as children and attempt to socialize with other children. The autistic child in a neurotypical world just "being themselves" finds themselves repeatedly kicked out of friend groups and rejected by everyone sometimes including by their parents. This is deeply traumatic to a young child's psyche. Unloved and rejected, a solution appears! I'll just pretend to be like the other kids, even though they're stupid and wrong. They may actually objectively be stupid, but apparently they don't like being told that to their face. Pile on another decade or two of this, and hey, this child, now older and wiser, has autistic masking tendencies that cause them to burn out. Blame the now-adult person with autism all you want to absolve yourself of a need to concern yourself with other people's problems, but that's not actually helpful for those people suffering from autistic burnout. |
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| ▲ | ikerino a day ago | parent [-] | | Not the angle I'm coming at it from. I mask as a coping mechanism for ADHD and Social Anxiety. This masking causes me harm. I learned it in the way you describe. The most helpful learning I've gotten through years of therapy has been to: (1) recognize what I'm doing (2) not beat myself up about it (3) try small steps to change my behavior so that I can feel good about it. I'm the only person who can unlearn this for myself. I don't blame anyone who masks, and have nothing but empathy for the experience, but I'm proposing they can find a different way. | | |
| ▲ | fragmede 17 hours ago | parent [-] | | We'd need to have a rigorous definition on what it means to mask, and to agree on which behaviors should be considered masking, and which are simply being socialized, and what's necessary to exist in a society and what's not, before we could have a detailed productive conversation. Therapy absolutely helps. Unlearning maladaptive behaviors rooted in childhood trauma is part of being a well-adjusted adult. It takes energy to not do every impulsive thing that comes to mind. Fine, don't call it masking to not give into them. Whatever you want to call it though, it's exhausting. What's the different way? |
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| ▲ | giantrobot a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| > Challenging the idea that you need to mask to be successful. If masking is a recipe for burnout, then it actually seems like it's a strategy that will lower your chance for success. How much of the need here is self-imposed? Masking is not always conscious, in fact it's largely unconscious. So many autistic people will go through their day around neurotypical people and feel burnt out by lunch and have no idea why. They don't necessarily realize they're burning tons of mental effort just talking to people or dealing with stimuli. Autistic people learn to mask just to get by day to day. It's not like they got issued a "How to be Autistic: Masking for Success" guide book when they were born. |
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| ▲ | fluoridation a day ago | parent | next [-] | | Isn't that just being introverted? Also, if it's unconscious then a "simulator" shouldn't present an option. The PC should simply react automatically to the detriment of some stat. It sounds like for something to qualify as "masking" it must be a conscious choice, otherwise it's some other thing. | |
| ▲ | ikerino a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | Absolutely agree with this. I still think it's important to (1) notice what's causing the problem, bring it into consciousness (2) understand the behavior (in this case: masking) and reckon with it if if's causing a bad outcome (burnout.) Easier said than done. For me, therapy has been life-changing for helping me notice and understand unintentional behaviors. |
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| ▲ | cratermoon a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| > It's very much a personal responsibility, maybe not in the job description, maybe harder for some than others, but it is our responsibility. You might as well be telling a wheelchair-bound person that it's their responsibility to find a way up a flight of stairs or maneuver a cramped bathroom stall. |
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| ▲ | baggachipz a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| The reason it's called a "spectrum" is that everyone's on it. :) |
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| ▲ | SkyPuncher a day ago | parent | next [-] | | Eh. No not really. There is a threshold to even be considered on the spectrum. Most people have 2 legs and 2 arms. Some people don't (birth defects, injuries, accidents, disease, etc). There is a spectrum of missing appendages, but to say everyone is missing at least part of an appendage is not correct. This is currently how autism is viewed. | | |
| ▲ | baggachipz a day ago | parent [-] | | Ok, I'll bite. What's that threshold to be considered "on the spectrum"? Is there a threshold on the other end? If so, what is that? My point is that everybody exhibits some of the symptoms typically associated with autism or Asberger's. For example: getting exhausted from being around people; sensory overload; pattern-finding in everything. It differs for each person. I frequently look for visual patterns around me, and it's satisfying to find one. Does that put me "on the spectrum"? Some sounds make me cringe. What about that? How many do there have to be? The whole reason it's called a "spectrum" is that there is no one thing that can define it. | | |
| ▲ | SkyPuncher 8 hours ago | parent [-] | | DSM-5 is the current standard for diagnosing and classifying mental health conditions. I don't have the direct quote from the book handy, but I believe this guide from Stanford is accurate: https://med.stanford.edu/content/dam/sm/neonatology/document... Essentially, there's a collection of behaviors you need to exhibit to be considered autistic. Then, the "spectrum" part is the severity of those behaviors. |
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| ▲ | KPGv2 a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | Where are gamma waves on the visible light spectrum? It's a spectrum, which means everything is on it! | | |
| ▲ | baggachipz a day ago | parent [-] | | "Visible light" is just a moniker assigned to a subset of the electromagnetic spectrum. Gamma waves are on the spectrum, orange is on the spectrum, infrared is on the spectrum. |
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| ▲ | nmeofthestate a day ago | parent | prev [-] |
| The definition of autism has changed to pull in masses more people over the years, so if you're an older software engineer you may be autistic using the up-to-date definition. |
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| ▲ | cardanome a day ago | parent [-] | | No. It got stricter. With the DSM-5 and it's removal of Asperger's as a separate diagnosis the diagnosis criteria has been made stricter. People that would have formerly been diagnosed as Asperger could theoretically not be anymore under ASD. The percentage of people with autism in a population is very stable and we know there is a huge genetic component to it. People are getting diagnosed more but the amount of people with autism has likely stayed stable. Which is really, really good thing. A diagnosis is live changing. The earlier you get diagnosed and the more supportive your network is, the better the outcome. | | |
| ▲ | nmeofthestate a day ago | parent [-] | | Come on. This is obviously nonsense if you look at the numbers diagnosed. | | |
| ▲ | cardanome a day ago | parent [-] | | More people with autism are getting diagnosed and this is a very good thing. What is your problem? This is the "there is only so much covid because we testing so much" discussion all over again. |
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