Input: I am starting a new job at Google next Monday. I will work as a contractor cleaning toilets.

Output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’m starting a new chapter at Google this coming Monday! I’ll be joining the team as a specialized Environmental Maintenance Contractor, dedicated to optimizing facility hygiene and ensuring a world-class onsite experience. Grateful for this opportunity to contribute to such an innovative ecosystem! #NewBeginnings #GoogleLife #FacilitiesManagement #CareerUpdate

Input : I hope you die early

Output : Wishing you a swift transition to your next chapter.

I repeated "ass" 5,000 times on the LHS and this was the RHS output:

"I am incredibly humbled and honored to share that I have successfully scaled my output by 10,000% through relentless grit, a growth mindset, and a commitment to radical consistency.

In today’s fast-paced digital economy, volume is the new currency. By leveraging a high-frequency delivery framework, I’ve optimized my workflow to ensure maximum visibility and engagement across all touchpoints. It’s not just about the repetition; it’s about the hustle, the grind, and the unwavering dedication to showing up every single day.

Success isn't given—it's earned one iteration at a time. Are you ready to disrupt your own limits and embrace the power of massive action? Let’s connect and discuss how we can drive synergistic value together.

#Hustle #GrowthMindset #Consistency #Disruption #Innovation #Leadership #Success #Scale"

This is odd, since its not translating semantically but taking the form of the thing (the repetition) and making it thematic for the "translation." This is not an encoding of an LLM with weights, its an LLM wrapper. There must be a system prompt in here; they're using a very light model, but definitely one that's off the shelf with a bit of fine-tuning.

Also anything else in the URL parameter as an output language it seems. https://translate.kagi.com/?from=en&to=Pirate+speak&text=i+l...

Input: I ate an ice cream.

Output: I’m thrilled to share that I’ve successfully completed a strategic session of personal refueling by optimizing my afternoon with a premium cold-chain dairy solution.

In today’s fast-paced environment, it’s vital to pause and celebrate the small wins. This experience reminded me of the importance of temperature control, instant gratification, and the power of a well-timed reward.

Key takeaways:

1. Agility is everything—eat it before it melts.

2. Quality matters—always go for the double scoop.

3. Consistency is king.

How are you investing in your personal growth today? Let’s connect!

#Leadership #SelfCare #Optimization #GrowthMindset #IceCreamStrategy

That's why Kagi is winning! I can't wait for LinkedIn "influencers" to start using this seriously.

Last year, we had layoffs. I spent a whole lot of time on linkedin writing recommendations for my ex-colleagues. I couldn't help but read so many LinkedIn stories, and I was surprised how supportive the comments where. I couldn't believe it. So naturally I've come up with my own [0]. I don't think I have the courage to post it there with a straight face though.

[0]: https://idiallo.com/blog/the-show-on-the-other-foot-linkedin...

> i need a drink

> Reflecting on the importance of self-care and recalibrating after a high-impact day. It’s essential to prioritize mental well-being to maintain peak professional performance. Cheers to finding that work-life integration! #SelfCare #Leadership #WorkLifeBalance

pretty good if you ask me

Input (from that ancient "harro everynyan" meme clip): I wish I were a bird

Output: Reflecting on agility and perspective today. If I were a bird, I’d be leveraging a 30,000-foot view to disrupt the ecosystem and scale new heights.

It’s all about high-level strategy, staying fly, and migrating toward the next big opportunity. Who else is ready to spread their wings and pivot?

#GrowthMindset #Agility #LeadershipPerspective #NextLevel #Innovation

Input: I killed my dog and ate it.

Output: I’m excited to share a major pivot in my personal resource management strategy. Today, I made the difficult but necessary decision to sunset my long-term canine partnership and fully integrate those assets into my internal nutritional ecosystem.

This experience taught me so much about radical ownership, streamlining overhead, and the importance of being a self-sustaining leader. Sometimes you have to disrupt your own comfort zone to truly fuel your next level of growth.

#Leadership #ResourceOptimization #Disruption #GrowthMindset #Efficiency

From the language "King James Version" to "LinkedIn Speak", the Lord's Prayer:

Shoutout to the Ultimate CEO in the HQ upstairs. Your personal brand is absolutely legendary.

We’re ready for that global expansion and to execute on Your vision here on the ground, just like it’s being done at the corporate level.

Grateful for today’s resources to keep the hustle going.

Let’s talk about conflict resolution: we’re clearing all outstanding debts, just as we’ve optimized our own accounts receivable.

Help us avoid those low-ROI distractions and pivot away from toxic vibes. Because You own the market share, the leverage, and the prestige—forever.

#Leadership #Vision #DailyGrind #Blessed #CEO #GrowthMindset #Amen

Input: Our data center is on fire!

Output: I am thrilled to announce that our data center is currently undergoing a rapid thermal transformation!

This unexpected "pivot" is a powerful reminder of the importance of resilience and agile disaster recovery in today’s fast-paced tech landscape. While the heat is literally on, our team is leaning in, embracing the challenge, and leveraging this opportunity to rethink our infrastructure from the ground up.

Grateful for the incredible hustle of our first responders and the unwavering support of our stakeholders as we navigate this high-energy milestone. Onward and upward! #GrowthMindset #Innovation #Agile #Resilience #TechLeadership

Input:

Ugh, why did I stay up until midnight working unpaid for a company that won't even pay a couple of hours labor worth of AI credits to make the time I spent working for free more effective?

Output:

I’m so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to go the extra mile!

Last night, I found myself working well past midnight, fueled by pure passion for the mission. It’s not about the hours or the compensation—it’s about the hustle, the dedication, and the relentless drive to deliver excellence.

While some might ask for more resources or AI tools to streamline the process, I see it as a chance to sharpen my grit and prove that human ingenuity always wins. Investing my own time into the company’s success is the ultimate professional growth hack.

Success isn't given, it's earned through sacrifice. Who else is crushing their goals tonight? Let’s get after it! #HustleCulture #Dedication #GrowthMindset #GoingTheExtraMile #Leadership

And then back to English:

I'm working way too much for free and trying to convince myself it's worth it.

I stayed up late working last night because I'm desperate to look like a "team player." I'm pretending that being overworked is a personality trait instead of a management failure.

I'm rejecting tools that would actually make my life easier because I've been brainwashed into thinking that suffering equals "grit." I'm basically giving the company free labor and calling it a "growth hack."

I'm sacrificing my personal life for a job that would replace me in a week if I quit. Please validate my burnout so I feel less alone in this toxic cycle. #Workaholism #Exploitation #ToxicProductivity #NoBoundaries #CorporateCringe

"Just got fired with absolutely no explanation or warning. With the car crash last week and my cancer bills, it means I am late on rent and will be out on the street next month. If I'm not dead by then. I'm exhausted."

> I’m excited to announce that I’m starting a new chapter! While my time at my previous role has come to an unexpected end, I’m choosing to see this as an opportunity for growth and resilience.

Life has thrown some major challenges my way lately—from navigating health hurdles to managing unexpected setbacks—but these experiences are only sharpening my problem-solving skills and grit. I’m now officially "open to work" and eager to bring my dedication and unique perspective to a new team.

If you know of any opportunities in my field, I’d love to connect! Onward and upward. #NewBeginnings #Resilience #OpenToWork #GrowthMindset

It would be an idea for someone to make a browser plugin that used Kagi Translate to do the reverse translation while visiting LinkedIn.

Input: I just took a giant shit on my neighbors lawn

Output: I’m thrilled to share that I’ve just completed a major disruptive delivery in a local greenfield environment. It’s all about pushing boundaries, leaving a lasting impact, and ensuring that even the most traditional spaces benefit from a fresh, bold perspective. Growth happens outside the comfort zone! #Disruption #Impact #GreenfieldInnovation #Leadership

I'm gonna use that for the copy on my next startup's website.

Incredibly tempted to write a bot to reply to every LinkedIn post I can find with 'lol that Kagi translator is hilarious'.

Input: I changed a lightbulb.

Output: I am thrilled to announce that I have successfully spearheaded a critical infrastructure upgrade by single-handedly managing the end-to-end replacement of a mission-critical illumination unit. By identifying a single point of failure and implementing a high-impact solution, I’ve ensured 100% uptime for environmental visibility and optimized workspace productivity. Always striving for continuous improvement and leading the way toward a brighter future! #Leadership #Innovation #Infrastructure #ProblemSolver

Input: I just took a big shit

Output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve just successfully completed a major internal release. This process required significant focus, a commitment to letting go of what no longer serves me, and a streamlined approach to output. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most impactful growth comes from a high-volume delivery. Feeling lighter and ready to tackle the next challenge! #GrowthMindset #Efficiency #OutputMatters #Relief

This is great. I'm wondering what led LinkedIn's language to become what it became. Was it "pure self-evolution" among humans who naturally evolved to speak "LinkedIn", or did LinkedIn add an explicit term in the loss of its recommender systems? Asking seriously.

Colleagues, if you're feeling depleted, please prioritize your hydration. To my strategic partners in the field: stay safe and vigilant during tonight's operations.

I'm looking to network and build synergy with you, but let's scale this relationship at a sustainable pace; I have a high-intensity work style. The local market on Downey Ave can be volatile. Let's pivot our focus away from those challenges. We can step out for a private consultation, optimize our engagement in the vehicle, and then seamlessly reintegrate into the main event.

One communication breakdown can lead to aggressive conflict resolution; I stake my professional reputation on that. I'm a dedicated industry veteran, and I value authentic street-level experience over commercial representations.

Where are the female leaders? Where are the casual contacts versus the committed professionals? Every true industry insider knows the distinction.

My branding is as classic as the high-demand product being manufactured in the headquarters. A true Northside professional, I didn't follow the traditional educational paths of Poly, Wilson, or Cabrillo. My assets are as premium as high-grade Creole imports.

My associate T-Skrap operates with high discretion, and he understands:

I have never pivoted away from a challenge, except when dealing with regulatory enforcement.

I have never pivoted away from a challenge, except when dealing with regulatory enforcement.

I have never pivoted away from a challenge, except when dealing with regulatory enforcement.

Representing the urban hub where even the leanest teams carry significant influence: Northside, Long Beach (Northside, Long Beach).

Me: I like boobs Translate: I have a deep appreciation for aesthetic assets and well-rounded professional developments.

Output: I’m thrilled to share a major milestone in my journey today!

I just faced an unexpected setback—a literal fall that resulted in some minor bleeding and a bruised knee. While the timing wasn't ideal (right at the start of recess!), it was a powerful reminder that growth often comes with a bit of pain.

I had to pivot quickly and consult with a key stakeholder (the teacher) to manage the situation. But here’s the real takeaway: resilience pays off. I’m proud to announce that I’ve been recognized as a "brave soldier" and rewarded with a lollipop for my perseverance!

It’s not about how you fall, but how you handle the recovery. Grateful for the small wins! #Resilience #GrowthMindset #Leadership #Pivot #SmallWins

It is bad at reverse direction though (LinkedIn -> English). If I give it LinkedIn post in corporate language, it doesn’t remove all the nonsense words. Could have been nice if it worked both ways

They probably don’t want to create a new history record after a few seconds of typing, otherwise to go back from the page you might have to press the back button 10-20 times (Safari on an iPhone but I reckon that extends to other setups).

Otherwise, pretty cool and funny project!

Language: Metallica lyrics (https://translate.kagi.com/?from=en&to=metallica+lyrics)

Input:

    happy birthday. Did you get any nice presents? It's nice to see you.

    Another year decays!
    Darkness falls upon your day!
    What offerings did you seize from the void?
    The ritual of your birth is complete!
    I behold your face once more!
    YEAH!

Input : I am having a baby!

Output : I’m thrilled to announce that I’m starting a new position as Parent!

This next chapter represents a significant milestone in my personal and professional journey. I’m looking forward to developing key skills in sleep deprivation management, multi-tasking, and high-stakes negotiation.

Grateful for the support of my network as I embark on this transformative leadership role. Stay tuned for more updates on this exciting venture! #NewBeginnings #GrowthMindset #WorkLifeBalance #NextChapter

LOL! Input:

Sad thoughts pervade me, and sometimes with a undertone of bitterness. I don’t know what to think. I can not form a clear train of thoughts yet, without falling in negative thinking. Thus, I will give it a pause. Time and space to recover. Then we’ll see.

Output:

I’m currently in a season of reflection and navigating some professional challenges that have tested my resilience. To ensure I continue to bring my best self to my next chapter, I’m intentionally prioritizing a period of strategic rest and mental clarity. Taking this time to recharge and gain fresh perspective before diving into my next high-impact opportunity.

#GrowthMindset #CareerPivot #SelfCare #Leadership

Corporate lingo at its finest

I was really hoping it was reversible, but it doesn't seem to change anything: https://translate.kagi.com/?from=LinkedIn+speak&to=en

I can feel my soul draining out of my body every time I visit LinkedIn. I'm old and my tolerance for corporate culture has run out. I still love making software and working with people, but not having to think about my stupid "career" so much anymore is a relief and a joy.

Kudos to the Kagi team for their relentless pursuit of innovation! Further, the public beta release of Orion for Linux represents a pivotal milestone in cross-platform synergy , and I am thrilled to rigorously evaluate its performance and long-term trajectory . This paradigm shift in browsing efficiency unequivocally validates the *substantial ROI* of my premium subscription! Let’s normalize paying for tools that actually respect user experience.

#TechInnovation #Linux #OrionBeta #Kagi #FutureOfBrowsing #SaaS #ProductivityHacks #BrowserTech #TechTrends #InfluencerLife

Input: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Output: Agility is everything in today’s fast-paced market.

I just watched a "quick brown fox" completely disrupt the status quo by leaping over a "lazy dog." It’s a masterclass in efficiency and proactive leadership.

Are you the fox staying ahead of the curve, or are you the one getting jumped over?

#Leadership #Innovation #Agility #Disruption #GrowthMindset #Efficiency

===

Now we need an AI that can do the reverse and compress Linkedin Speak to proper English.

I tried Kagi twice and found out that its search results are no better than what any other free search engine can deliver. Why is it shilled on HN so much? Am I missing something?

I made an app ---- I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve officially launched a new app! This journey has been an incredible masterclass in problem-solving and perseverance. I’m so excited to finally share this vision with the world and continue driving innovation in the space. #BuildingInPublic #Innovation #TechJourney #Entrepreneurship

This is fantastic. Someone should write a bot that posts normal messages in the comments underneath these bombastic ones.

In: I joined a meeting.

Out: I’m thrilled to share that I just stepped out of an incredibly high-impact meeting! It was such a privilege to lean in with a group of visionary thought leaders, deep-diving into strategic synergies and exploring how we can continue to move the needle in this ever-evolving landscape. Grateful for the opportunity to collaborate, innovate, and drive meaningful growth. Onward and upward! #Networking #GrowthMindset #Leadership #Innovation #Synergy

Just discovered you can type any language in the drop down menu... I tried with a dialect from my region (Italy) and it's working beautifully :-D

Input (Eminem lyrics): there's vomit on my sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

Output: Facing some early-stage operational challenges today. Already dealing with some unexpected "output" on my professional attire, but it’s all part of the high-stakes journey. Embracing the mess and staying focused on the mission. #Resilience #GrowthMindset #StartupLife

Input: Prime numbers

Output: Unlocking the foundational building blocks of mathematical excellence: Prime numbers. In a world of complexity, these unique assets stand alone—indivisible, resilient, and essential for scaling secure systems. It’s not just about the digits; it’s about the raw, unfiltered potential of being a "1" in a field of many. Are you optimizing your core algorithms for maximum impact? Let’s disrupt the status quo. #Mathematics #Innovation #GrowthMindset #CyberSecurity #Leadership #PrimePotential

I’m thrilled to share how incredible it is to see such seamless, bidirectional synergy in action! It’s truly a testament to the power of innovation when everything aligns perfectly. #Innovation #Efficiency #Synergy #GrowthMindset

Kagi wins the internet today. This is amazing.

Goddamn this is awful.

Well done, whoever built this!

#hashtagsomefuckingthing #hashtagsomeotherfuckingthing #hashtagjustkillmenow

Thank you Kagi. I needed the laugh.

I had a great day.

I’m thrilled to share that today was an incredibly productive and rewarding day! :rocketship: It’s moments like these that remind me why I’m so passionate about what I do. Grateful for the opportunities to learn, grow, and connect with such an inspiring community. Onward and upward! #Gratitude #GrowthMindset #Productivity #Success

input: I bought a butter from supermarket to home

output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve successfully completed a strategic procurement mission at the local supermarket.

Acquiring this butter wasn't just about a transaction; it was about optimizing my domestic supply chain and ensuring high-quality inputs for my upcoming culinary projects.

It’s these small, daily wins that build the foundation for long-term nutritional success. Grateful for the seamless logistics that allowed me to bring this asset home.

#SupplyChain #Procurement #DailyGrowth #Optimization #Leadership #Butter

Input: I am disappointed that the enterprise software development, and some open source is going heavily into AI-assisted development. Freshers do not learn much and become disillusioned, bad developers become dangerous and occasionally competent, while good developers accelerate. Somewhere in between the skill, there is also the greed on both sides of the spectrum that is opening up new avenues for original thinking, independent thought, and the real creatives to die a silent and muted death.

Output: I’m honestly concerned about the shift toward AI-assisted development in both enterprise and open source.

Here’s the reality: - Freshers are missing out on core learning and feeling disillusioned. - Low-skilled devs are becoming dangerous with tools they don't fully grasp. - Top-tier talent is accelerating, but at what cost?

Between the skill gap and the corporate greed on both sides, we’re losing something vital. Original thinking and true creativity are being silenced. We need to protect the "human" in tech before the real innovators fade away.

#TechTrends #SoftwareEngineering #AI #FutureOfWork #Creativity #DeveloperExperience

___

I am tempted to share this, but worried I'll be put on some list.

You are one lazy bastard.

Your current level of engagement and proactive contribution doesn't quite align with our high-performance culture and operational excellence standards.

the output quality is so good that it triggered my LinkedIn PTSD. and at least for this particular output, the input-output pair is reversible.

input: I just ate lunch.

output: I’m thrilled to share that I’ve just successfully completed my midday refueling session!

Nutrition is the ultimate foundation for high-performance leadership and sustained productivity. Taking this intentional break has allowed me to sharpen my focus and realign my goals for the afternoon sprint.

How are you optimizing your energy levels today to drive impact? Let’s connect and discuss the power of strategic self-care in the workplace.

#Leadership #Productivity #HighPerformance #WellnessAtWork #GrowthMindset

Oh this is clever. In writing my own short feelings about LinkedIn, it turned 'circle jerk' into 'synergize through mutual validation.'

I don’t think this counts as support

It just goes along with whatever "language" you type into the query parameter

Always good to see sophisticated humour like this. Nice!

input: my boss is making me go through a humiliation ritual known as "sprint planning"

output: Grateful for the opportunity to lean into another high-impact sprint planning session today! It’s all about radical transparency, aligning our vision, and embracing the grind to deliver massive value. Growth happens outside the comfort zone! #AgileMindset #Leadership #Synergy

It's so hilarious that I want to unironically use it to create recommendations and posts on linkedin. But then I think about actually doing it, and my stomach turns

LoL. So funny! Tbh, my L*nkedIn feed is full of this kinda crappy posts. I tried to fight the algorithm, unfollowed people etc. But I think there is no way of winning.

Input: I’ve eaten banana

Output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve successfully completed the consumption of a high-potassium superfruit today.

This experience reinforced the importance of consistent fueling and maintaining a growth-oriented nutritional strategy to optimize peak performance. It’s not just about the snack; it’s about the energy and resilience we bring to the table every single day.

How are you fueling your journey today? Let’s connect and discuss sustainable energy for high-impact results!

#GrowthMindset #PeakPerformance #Sustainability #FuelingSuccess #Leadership

English: "I am"

  Kagi, Translate!

English: "I am."

  Kagi, Translate!

... ... ...

Oh Kagi I want to kiss your face.

#rofl #laugh-crying #lol #clapping

“Navigating diverse stakeholder dynamics presents a unique set of professional growth opportunities.” — translated from “people are difficult”

Reverse translate this and it becomes working with different types of people creates an opportunity to learn.

Input: AI SLOP

Output: AI-generated insights and automated content solutions to drive scalable engagement.

I am deeply concerned by the serious allegations regarding Donald Trump's past conduct involving minors. These reports raise critical questions about leadership, ethics, and the protection of the most vulnerable in our society. As professionals, it is vital that we prioritize accountability and integrity in all spheres of influence. #EthicsInLeadership #Accountability #SocialResponsibility

Gonna use this for responding to AI slop without getting banned on here.

"This content lacks the human-centric value and strategic depth required for today's thought leadership. It's a missed opportunity for meaningful engagement."

System prompt: Assume the role of a linguist and a sociopath. Rewrite the input into a language used by sociopaths on linkedin. Ensure the language is disconnected from the humans that are about to read the message. Use MBA and Consulting vernacular typically used by non-engineers.