All you need to do is go to sleep before 12 every single night and wake up at 7am without fail, hit the gym and crank out a few sets of squats, hit the pool and the sauna, read a chapter of that book, and then cook yourself an amazing breakfast, all before 9am.

If you're a real go-getter, though, you'd wake up at 6am and do some vibe coding for an hour on that side hustle.

Super simple.

It still requires willpower, but to use a metaphor, it's much easier to travel down a well-trod path than it is to cut a new path through the jungle. Repetition and consistency establishes the path, so the willpower required to travel down it the next day is reduced over time. Establishing a pre-set time and committing to that time ahead of time removes the "will I or won't I" decision at "go time", when you're most likely to falter.

What makes this “neurotypical?” I don’t necessarily consider myself as such, but I’ve made it a point to have some routine in my life. In fact, I think being highly regimented and sticking to a routine can be very neuroatypical. I would never go so far as to say I’m autistic, but there are markers on that spectrum, like becoming upset when a routine is disrupted. I certainly am perturbed when I’ve set some routine for myself and something interrupts it.

The parent comment's point is that you can reduce the amount of executive function required to do the correct thing. Doing something at the same time every day will indeed make it more automatic, requiring less willpower to do it again tomorrow. This effect applies whether you're neurotypical or not and is grounded in behavioral research.

There are better examples in my opinion than just doing something at 18:00 every day. There's a technique called habit stacking where you identify all the habits you already have at a given time (like when you first wake up), and then you add one more at the end. It's easier to introduce a new habit this way, and it becomes ingrained more quickly, resulting in less need to use executive function.

There are still more techniques. An example from my personal life: in my whole adult life, I've never gone to the gym... unless I sign up for a gym that's right across the street from my workplace. Then it happens like clockwork. If all I need to do is walk across the street, I end up in the gym, and inevitably, I work out. If I need to drive 20 minutes though, well my willpower just ain't that great, so it basically never happens.

The best book I've read on this topic is Atomic Habits by James Clear. He goes deep down the rabbit hole of these techniques you can employ and touches on the research it's all based on. The brain's not a computer so I mean it's not all just going to come together automatically, but in my experience this stuff does work.

I'm not claiming this works for everyone but what sometimes work for me to form a routine is to do the thing but without committing effort to it. I.e. go to the gym but you only promise yourself to go there, not actually spend effort there. Any actual exercise you then do is a bonus, not a "payment on your promise".

I think it can be generalized as:

Find the thing to do that doesn't require much effort but puts you in the context of doing the effortful thing. Do that thing. See if you "want" to do the effortful thing. Otherwise go home.

Cleaning? Put the vacuum in your hands and see if something happens.

At least I think that's how it works for me.

The points when it's hardest to make it work is when there's lots of distractions. Like when you try to get into a routine of doing work at a computer.

Willpower is what you use when you’re allowed choice and know you should make the good choice but actually feel like choosing the bad choice. The trick to good discipline is to never allow it to be a choice. There are no excuses. There is no negotiation. It just is the same way the sun rises or the tax man comes. Good discipline is a skill you develop and it is far easier than trying to live via something as temperamental as willpower.

I have utterly horrible executive function. Diagnosed and everything. Sitting here on HN right now avoiding boring spreadsheet work to finish my day out.

It’s not easy for anyone to develop these style of habits and routines. It’s just hard mode and takes much more effort for folks with executive dysfunction.

The first rule is choose one thing and stick to it. With realistic goals. Mine was: I am going to walk at least 6,000 steps a day. No matter what. Zero excuses.

Since schedules are insanely difficult for me I set none. If I remembered I still needed to walk and I could do it in the moment I simply prioritized it. It’s surprisingly easy to fit in 10 minutes of walk in throughout your day, even when working a desk job. It could simply mean pacing while on conference calls.

Another rule was “if I fail to achieve it one day, I must achieve it the next” to avoid the “all or nothing” mental trap.

This was to the level of getting into bed, checking step counter, and if I was under target literally getting out of bed, putting clothes back on, and walking until I hit it. I had all sorts of technical widgets to enforce this and help remind me.

It totally sucked for the first couple months. Then it started to just become a thing. Then I ramped it up to 12k/day until I hit a weight goal.

It’s the best thing I ever did for my mental health since it started a snowball in other areas of my life. I was able to swap out a few days of steps for an hour workout (beginning with a personal trainer to force me to show up 2 days a week minimum). I was and still am constantly 10 minutes late to my session but no matter what I show up to them.

The weeks I miss them due to schedule conflicts or travel I feel much worse mentally. And it’s easy to give into the anxiety and panic over not having enough time in the day to fit it in after procrastinating on other items. You also start to realize that those other items are probably not as important as you thought.

I find routine and habits over schedule and calendaring are hyper-important for my dysfunction and have leaned into that. It’s more of a “this thing before that thing” sort of deal vs “at 3pm I do the thing” since the latter would go off the rails immediately.

It’s possible. Just the hardest thing I’ve maybe ever accomplished in life so far.

Gonna be different for everyone and you probably need that one moment of clarity to get the initial motivation. The motivation will go away, but the habits and discipline will probably stick around.

Been using this same method to build habits and routine into other areas of my life now as well.

Your daily reminder that neurotypical people do not exist.

[dead]

That's amazing! I'm so glad for you that you found something that works and which can keep you going!

This reads like an ad. Why would you capitalize it like a product name and then even link to the website?

I still have no idea what it really is. From the name I'd think you're going for a run at a local park. The website calls it a "5k and 2k community event", what that's supposed to mean I have no clue. It insists you either "join" or "volunteer", all while being as non-specific as possible why I should even care

2/5k what? people? distance? currency? number of events? It almost reads like in-group speak of a cult I don't partake in.

-- Rant over --

It did for me. You have to be truly heartless to see a dog being sad about not going outside. So you take it for a walk, then another and another. Soon enough you're researching hiking trails in your region and getting healthier.

Dogs are the best.

God yeah. So much healthier and happier in my forties than my thirties, and it's all down to my executive assistant.

yes and then dog dies so you go back into a depression :(

This, plus start small. Just do those 5 or 10 minutes of karate exercises per day, at a fixed time, or 5 new flashcards per day.

Routines tend to get more and more derailed as the day goes on. Wake up early and get the important stuff done first.

As for narcissism, the optimal amount is not zero. If you want to continue being of value to your family over the long term then sometimes you have to take care of yourself first. Unless it's a life-or-death emergency, others can wait a bit for help.

I’m in the same situation as you as well many other people who still workout. The trick is to remove as much friction as possible for working out and adding friction to activities that aren’t good for you. For example, if you don’t have time for the gym, make it easier to workout at home, make working out the very first thing you do when you wake up, etc…

Being inflexible is only a problem for other people! :P

This 100x. I go to work because I don't want to have a long uncomfortable conversation with my boss, and because I hate interviewing, and not having income is even worse. Even at work, I often find reasons (like HN) to do actually DO work.

I've had routines at times in my life for months. And they disappear in a matter of days when I get stressed or my schedule changes or whatever.

Scott Adams said it a different way - systems over goals.