| ▲ | bluerooibos a day ago |
| All you need to do is go to sleep before 12 every single night and wake up at 7am without fail, hit the gym and crank out a few sets of squats, hit the pool and the sauna, read a chapter of that book, and then cook yourself an amazing breakfast, all before 9am. If you're a real go-getter, though, you'd wake up at 6am and do some vibe coding for an hour on that side hustle. Super simple. |
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| ▲ | recursive a day ago | parent | next [-] |
| This but unironically. I don't post on LinkedIn or anything. But sometimes it seems like all the agonizing people sometimes do over whether or not they should follow their plan (fitness, diet, productivity) makes it ten times worse. It can be possible to decide to do something in advance, and then... just do it. The more times you do it the easier it gets. My wife comments on this sometimes. I guess not everyone has this? Maybe it can be learned? I don't know. |
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| ▲ | paulryanrogers a day ago | parent [-] | | The list of things I must do is large and growing. Much of it outside my control. Yes, I could sell the house but rent is quite high. Yes, I could divorce the wife but that actually makes for more work. Yes, I could abandon the children but I've grown attached; and that's only legal after finding someone else willing to adopt them and a judge willing to approve it. Yes, I could deny any help with the elderly parents on both sides of the family but that seems extreme and carries a social cost. Yes, I could spend a few decades trying to cure the medical issues I've collected but that leaves little time for anything mentioned earlier. Then there are the things I'd like to do. | | |
| ▲ | recursive a day ago | parent [-] | | I mean, yes. That's true for everyone. Different people have different life circumstances. It's equally important not to decide to do things that one can't realistically do, for whatever reasons there may be. I'm not sure what your point is. Don't sell your house if you don't have a realistic place to live lined up. Don't divorce your wife if it's not worth the work. I'm not saying everyone can or should be grindset hustle bro. Probably no one. I'm just saying that it is sometimes possible to decide what you're going to do in advance. If you already have too many obligations, that could include deciding which ones to fail. That's probably better than trying to do everything and just rolling the dice. It's surprising how controversial this idea is, but it works for me. I hope you find something that works for you. | | |
| ▲ | paulryanrogers 12 hours ago | parent [-] | | Sorry if my point was lost in the rant. IME the younger generations are facing an increasingly large burden of must-do's with less slack for them to make any other choices. Growing housing, healthcare, and societal expectations combined with fewer employment opportunities are leaving little room for them to chart their own course. Some might say it's offset by all the luxuries so widely available. But I personally find it hard to enjoy minor luxuries when so much of life is swallowed by obligations. And I'm one of the luckiest members of my cohort. Most of my high school friends still live with parents or several roommates, have lower paying careers, and/or have to care for more family with serious medical issues. (Though on the latter I seem to be catching up quickly) | | |
| ▲ | kubanczyk 11 hours ago | parent [-] | | It sounds as if you are filing a complaint, but I'm afraid chargebacks are out of question. You have been scammed and given a non-perfect generation to live in. |
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| ▲ | tdeck a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| Don't forget to spend a few minutes journalling self-affirmations. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_o7qjN3KF8U |
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| ▲ | roguechimpanzee a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| I know you’re being smart but these things are all possible if you want to make them happen |
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| ▲ | andy99 a day ago | parent | next [-] | | People would rather blame external factors and not take responsibility. It’s actually insulting to people who work hard that some people assume they have it easy somehow, like the “must be nice” comment upstream. Not everyone takes the view that you can’t control what happens to you, it’s pretty easy to see who does. | | |
| ▲ | jimnotgym 19 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I have to leave the house for work at 7am. I get back sometime between 6 and 8pm. When I get back I'm mentally and physically shot. I mean, yes I could get an easier job that pays less I suppose, lose the house etc. | | |
| ▲ | andy99 16 hours ago | parent [-] | | You should try doing 1/2 hour of exercise after you get back. It will make you feel way better, especially mentally. | | |
| ▲ | jimnotgym 7 hours ago | parent [-] | | That sounds like a good plan, thanks. It made me think an exercise bike right where I change from work, would make me remember to actually do it! Thanks again |
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| ▲ | blandflakes a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | It's also pretty insulting to assume that everything is equally easy for all people. | | |
| ▲ | nradov a day ago | parent [-] | | No one is assuming that. Everyone has their burdens. But gradual improvement is always possible. | | |
| ▲ | Forgeties79 8 hours ago | parent [-] | | Your prior comment makes it sound like you assume it’s generally just about willpower and that external factors aren’t generally an issue. Is that accurate? | | |
| ▲ | nradov 3 hours ago | parent [-] | | No, is generally about discipline and building good habits. Willpower or lack thereof is largely irrelevant. I'm not convinced that willpower is even a real thing. | | |
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| ▲ | davorak a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | > People would rather blame external factors and not take responsibility. In my opinion the first step to taking responsibility is acknowledging reality. That reality can includes brains and bodies being different, sometimes extremely so. If someones brain or body is different but they deny it, stick their head in the sand, ignore it, then they are at a disadvantage when they try to take responsibility for something and may fail due to failing to acknowledging reality. | |
| ▲ | roguechimpanzee a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | You can actually just choose to lock in.
And you don't need a perfect streak. Waking up early, working out and eating a nutritious breakfast is a perfect morning for probably 90% of people but our society is so broken that being healthy is associated with being either a grifter or a fascist. | | |
| ▲ | shibapuppie a day ago | parent | next [-] | | You can actually just choose to not be depressed too. Just skip the therapy and exercise altogether. | | | |
| ▲ | Forgeties79 6 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | God I wish one could actually just choose to lock in. | |
| ▲ | a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | [deleted] |
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| ▲ | chrisweekly a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | "smart"? I'd say "sarcastic" | | |
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| ▲ | jimnotgym 19 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| Agreed, and then I just jump back in time two hours so that I can get to work on time, because that is what successful people do. |
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| ▲ | 13 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
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| ▲ | BoneShard a day ago | parent | prev [-] |
| and not have any kids. |
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| ▲ | jjulius a day ago | parent | next [-] | | Nah, you can do it with kids! I have two that are about to be 4 and 6, here are my weekdays: - Alarm at 4:30. 5 mins of breathing exercises, 20 mins of meditation. - Make coffee, have breakfast, out the door to work by ~5:30. - Get to work's gym by 5:45, cardio for 60 mins. - In my office by 7:00-7:15. - 3:30, 25 mins of breathe work and meditation again. Tuesdays and Thursdays, this is 3:15 so I can fit in ~30 mins of strength training. - Head on out, pick up my youngest from school, home by ~4:15-4:30-ish. Ballpark depending on traffic, actual gym times, etc. - Cook dinner (kiddos often like to help), eat with family, hang out with and play with my kiddos until 7:00PM. - Kiddo bath and bed time, wife and I take turns doing this every night. Whether I'm "done" at 7 or 8, it only takes me ~30 mins to shower and prep my shit (clothes, lunch, etc.) for the next day. - Leaves me with ~1-2 hours each night to hang out, read a book, and enjoy my wife's company before heading to bed at ~9:30. It's busy, but I don't feel like I'm overstretched and I don't feel like it leaves me missing out on anything. | | |
| ▲ | sarchertech a day ago | parent | next [-] | | There’s a few things required to make that work for you. You fall asleep instantly every night or function on less than 7 hours of sleep long term. You have a 15 minute commute. You don’t seem to need any slack time to deal with any issues that pop up. 4 year old has a meltdown because the 6 year old ate the last fruit snack. One of the kids decides to wake up at 3am. Friends come over for dinner and throw off the routine. Oops forgot to buy an ingredient for dinner, now you have to load up all the kids and go to the store. Ugh piece of plastic is lodged in the garbage disposal better get the flashlight and chopsticks. And that’s not even mentioning regular household maintenance. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, grocery trips etc… I’d need at least 2 extra hours in every day to handle all of those unexpected and expected issues. Probably closer to 3. | | |
| ▲ | jjulius a day ago | parent [-] | | So I made my original post knowing full well that my situation is my own and YMMV, but to speak to those concerns wrt my schedule/life... >You fall asleep instantly every night... Actually, yes! Two points there. First, when I'm out of my routine, not working out, drinking lots of coffee and eating like garbage, I sleep like ass. When I'm in my routine, eating well, and only having a cup of coffee with breakfast, I'm incredibly energized throughout the day and end up suddenly feeling tremendously tired right around 8:45/9:00. The second part is that my father's side of the family is notorious for falling asleep anywhere, anytime. There's a litany of photos of us passed out on couches in the middle of packed parties. > Meltdowns They happen, but they don't really rock the schedule in my experience. Bedtime somehow always ends up being bedtime. Might shift by ~15 or so occasionally, but never in a way that nukes my bedtime or anything. >One of the kids wakes up at 3am. This is entirely YMMV, but we sleep trained. For whatever absolutely fucking weird reason, neither kid has ever got themselves out of bed in the morning, they always wake up and wait for us to come get them. Earliest I hear one of them is occasionally 6 on the weekends, usually closer to 7. I feel tremendously lucky here, and recognize how not normal this is. >Forgot dinner ingredient and load kids up... Nah. I do my best to buy ingredients on the weekend for the week. Definitely isn't foolproof, but usually we just pivot to a meal I'd planned for another night, or we always have easy to make shit like mac and cheese or grilled cheese and tomato soup lying around to fall back on. Life doesn't need to be perfect and I'm cool with pivoting and not sticking to plans. >Friends coming over For our own sanity wrt my wife and I's schedules, we hang with friends on the weekend. Weekends are a lot more freeform for us. >Household maintenance Naturally, whoever isn't playing with the kids just falls into keeping the laundry moving and cleaning the kitchen. I'll take the kiddos to the grocery store on Saturday. Dishes happen quickly, we all help there. | | |
| ▲ | sarchertech a day ago | parent [-] | | I’m not doubting that your schedule works for you, I’m just saying that it’s at the extreme of what is feasible with young kids. > neither kid has ever got themselves out of bed in the morning My wife is a pediatrician. This is so incredibly not normal to have 2 kids that absolutely never get up early that you won the lottery. And not the regular jackpot. You won the powerball multi-state $500 million lottery. > For our own sanity wrt my wife and I's schedules, we hang with friends on the weekend. Weekends are a lot more freeform for us. I wish I knew what a weekend was. My wife works in the ER, as do many of our friends. > Naturally, whoever isn't playing with the kids just falls into keeping the laundry moving and cleaning the kitchen. There’s so much more daily maintenance work for our house than an hour a night for one person. Just making my kids lunch for the next day takes me 15 minutes. It takes me 20-30 minutes to fold one load of laundry. And the irregular things I mentioned were just a tiny part of it. The other day my 4 year old got a whole stack of puzzles down and the 2 year old immediately dumped out all the pieces. Took me 2 hours to sort that out. Last week the tankless hot water started randomly cutting out and I spent 2 hours dealing with that. Yesterday we took 2 of our 3 kids for a well check to their pediatrician. For some reason it took 1.5 hours instead of the 30 minutes we had planned. A few months ago one of my many spoke alarms started randomly going off once a night for a few days until I could track down the problem. 3 months ago my 2 year old tripped on the very bottom stair and had a freak fracture. That took hours of time up front and then reverted to crawling for 9 days. And for 6 weeks he had to wear a boot that I had to remove and reapply multiple times a day. Our 2 month old blew out her diaper a few days ago and I had to take all the padding off, wash it, then figure out how to put it back on. Big storm recently knocked most of our Christmas wreathes off and I had to deal with that. My kid was recently “snack leader” for his preschool class, which means for a week I had to make healthy snacks for the whole class. All of that is just the random stuff that has popped up over the last few months that I can think of. The original post who mentioned this kind of thing isn’t feasible with kids was correct. 2-2.5 hours of exercise/meditation and a full workday isn’t something that most people with kids can pull off. |
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| ▲ | _whiteCaps_ a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | I'm genuinely jealous of your ability to either: - fall asleep at 9:31 and function on 7 hours of sleep - or fall asleep at 10:30 and function on 6 hours of sleep If I'm not getting 8 hours, I feel like a zombie the next morning. | | |
| ▲ | jjulius a day ago | parent [-] | | Sorry to confuse, it's 9:30 every night. Anything less than 7 and I'm wrecked. 7.5 is ideal, but I also feel great with 7. My non-scientific guess is that I spent so much of my teens and 20s getting less than 6 hours that my body is delighted by 7+ lol. But yeah, I imagine I'll need more as time continues to pass and I get older. /shrug Edit: To say nothing of my mild fear of an inadequate amount of sleep in middle age possibly contributing to dementia, but I digress... | | |
| ▲ | jimnotgym 19 hours ago | parent [-] | | My neurodiverse mind often won't let me sleep that early. It just whirls with problem solving that keeps me up all night if I go to bed in a whirl. Yes I know how to meditate. Imagine spending years at it and finding yourself in a mental state that means you can't clear your mind any more. You can't 'let it go', it just comes straight back in a more aggressive way with flash backs and visions. What would you do now? | | |
| ▲ | scorpioxy 17 hours ago | parent [-] | | Not the person you're replying to but I am confused by your comment. What would you do? You'd try and meditate. If that doesn't work, you distract yourself with something else. The mind whirling keeping you up at night is rarely a productive thing, speaking from experience. I hope my comment doesn't come off as dismissive but learning to meditate is practicing to "let it go". It isn't a switch. You're teaching your mind not to get "too attached" to anything you consider unwholesome. | | |
| ▲ | jimnotgym 16 hours ago | parent [-] | | No, your tone is fine, and thanks for that. A whirling mind is not often productive but it can make great leaps forward. It can also be paranoid, dangerous and self-destructive. I was trying to make the point that self- help easy fixes are not always successful. I spent decades actively learning to sleep. It works most of the time. It is good to learn. I use a mindfulness sleep meditation most nights. I also learnt from sleep hygiene that going to bed early is normally a big mistake for me, precluding much of the 'go to bed earlier, get up and exercise' advice. I have also hit periods in my life where I simply couldn't mediate for weeks on end despite regular practice over a decade. I was mentally ill. No routine or hacks was going to get me to exercise. I needed therapy (EMDR) and rest, and when I got really self-destructive I needed sleep medication (useful only for a very short time). The 'hack' people just made me feel bad about myself for being unable to get a grip. That is what I want people to see, exercise is only useful if you are well enough to do it. If you are not well enough to shave, then don't beat yourself up for not getting exercise. Put a pin in it, and do it later. My latest illness was (psycho-somatically) interfering with my cortisol levels, and it made any exercise crippling. I couldn't recover. I didn't get the boost. I beat myself up about not being able, and it made me worse. Exercise and therapy rather than exercise or therapy might be better advice. Edit, typos |
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| ▲ | keybored a day ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | - | | | |
| ▲ | beams a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | This sounds utterly horrific but I'm glad you're enjoying it. |
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| ▲ | djeastm a day ago | parent | prev [-] | | Organized people have kids, too. |
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