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| ▲ | soulofmischief 8 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | It's protecting the parents at the expense of the children. | | |
| ▲ | toasterlovin 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Interestingly, one of the things cults and totalitarian regimes have in common is a singular obsession with subverting the primacy of the nuclear family and the parent/child relationship. | | |
| ▲ | dayvigo 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | One of the things all abusive and controlling parents have is a singular obsession with maintaining the primacy of the nuclear family and absolute parental authority. | | |
| ▲ | toasterlovin 3 hours ago | parent [-] | | Excellent riposte! (I’m already responding more thoughtfully in other areas of this thread, so won’t regurgitate the same points here) |
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| ▲ | sanderjd 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | I'm confused though, children getting information via unfiltered access to the internet is a subversion of "the primacy of the nuclear family and the parent/child relationship", no? | | |
| ▲ | toasterlovin an hour ago | parent | next [-] | | Yes, I was agreeing with you. | |
| ▲ | wavefunction an hour ago | parent | prev [-] | | that's just a kid, unsupervised
where are the parents in your scenario
anyways that's how I learned to fly, without the chains people like you want to throw on the rest of us
stay down there in the muck and grime |
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| ▲ | soulofmischief 7 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | You mean like our current totalitarian, oligarchical US government? | |
| ▲ | Der_Einzige 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | [dead] |
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| ▲ | sanderjd 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | Honestly curious: What does this mean? I'll expand a bit on my perspective to avoid just sealioning here: Where I've come across proposals for policies like actual age verification is in the "social media is bad for kids" milieu. I'm extremely skeptical that these proposals are workable purely technically, but ignoring that, I have some sympathy for the concept. I do think that kids mainlining TikTok and YouTube Shorts and PornHub is really bad. So having cleared my throat, I'm back to wondering about your comment. How, in your view, is this kind of policy "protecting parents at the expense of children"? | | |
| ▲ | bobthepanda an hour ago | parent [-] | | I mean there are many reasons that people say that TikTok is bad. If you think TikTok is bad because it promotes unhelpful or malicious advice around body standards, that's one thing. (See: bigorexia getting promoted into the DSM) If you think TikTok is bad because it puts children under a lens, that's another thing. If you think TikTok is bad because it exposes contrarian viewpoints that are not available on your television, like, say, something Gaza related, then that's yet another thing. | | |
| ▲ | econ 2 minutes ago | parent [-] | | The worse part of tiktok, like much of the web, is that it clips up your attention span into such tiny chunks that the consumer can NEVER feel the joy of thinking or talking. You can never voyage into someone else's mind deep enough to bee truly terrified or blown away, never see how they are fundamentally different from you nor why. All other complaints are a mere distraction by comparison. |
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| ▲ | Barrin92 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | I think it's a pretty fundamental mistake to conflate the library with the internet. Even the "dangerous section" of the library is still a curated, by nature of the medium (the printed word), high information, low noise environment. The internet is a commercial, mass media space, in large parts an entropy machine, where you're unlike in the library backroom are always under surveillance, where it's not you actively engaging with books but the internet engaging with you. A library is a repository of knowledge (which is not the same as information or "data") the internet is a dark forest where some pretty eldritch entities are always on the lookout for someone to pounce on. Kids can be free in the library because, as to the title of the thread, there's always a librarian. There's no heroin needles on the tables. You buy the freedom of the library by it being an ordered and protected space. | | |
| ▲ | elijahwright 5 minutes ago | parent [-] | | Conflation is probably wrong. But librarianship is one of the most hacker-adjacent places I’ve ever worked. I fought pretty damn hard to keep UNIX tooling very directly in the information science curriculum at Indiana - circa 2005 or so. It was in serious danger of getting removed - I was just a graduate student but I got my butt on the right committee where I could articulate the need for tools and textual technologies to stay on the map there. Taking them away from the students would have been doing them a massive disservice. |
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| ▲ | ToucanLoucan 8 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | Kids should have to identify themselves to access the Internet. I echo part of a previous comment from a ways back: > I would not be the person I am today without early unfettered access to an uncensored Internet, and I say that both as a blessing, and a curse. It gave me at once access to early technology that's turned into a prosperous career, while also afflicting me with a lifetime of mental scars of varying severity and intrusive thoughts of things I saw and cannot forget. I struggle to label this trauma, but it's certainly not a good thing I carry. And having reflected on this, yes, it's trauma. It's the dictionary definition of trauma. And crucially, none of this has anything to do with viewpoints. I wish I had found more shit about different viewpoints, and less about animals and people being tortured. But identification as a child doesn't need to stop you from accessing opposing viewpoints, it needs to stop you from accessing... that. And I don't think anyone is going to argue that seeing some of the shit I saw was a growth moment for me or contributed in any way positively to me being a more well rounded person. I think a far more effective actionable path here is disentangling the stranglehold that parents have regarding how their children are raised. We still ascribe very diligently to the Western notion that children effectively "belong" to their parents, and that their parents are the single authority figure that decides how this person is raised. Most of the time that's benign to a bit obnoxious on the part of entitled parents, but it also very very easily ramps up into straight up abuse. The notion that, for example, a heavily Evangelical parent feels entitled to and is endorsed by the system to be able to deny their child knowledge of anything outside their specific sect and it's religious text, and enshrine that as a reasonable choice, is horrendous. This is a whole other person, this child is, and in our current system they are effectively a resident of a totalitarian mini-state until the age of 18 (and given economic challenges, potentially much longer now) that is largely reinforced by our surrounding systems. A child has basic rights, sure, to food, water and shelter, but even the enforcement of those can be inconsistent due to a combination of poor funding and an overall deference to parents that frankly is not deserved. We have reams upon reams of evidence of parents doing inconceivable evils to their children. It is not a given that a parent wants to care for their child and see them succeed. And advanced rights? They're a joke. A child doesn't have the right to consume and learn knowledge their parents find adversarial. They do not have the right to free association, parents destroy relationships their children have all the time, sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of neglect, sometimes out of cruelty. Children's desires, identities, and interests are not able to be pursued if their parents disagree with them because there is nowhere a child can go (save for perhaps a Library, relevant to our thread) where they can freely do so, and their economic disadvantages put a hard limit on even that. The notion that parents should have 100% authority to effectively shape other, new people into being whatever they think they should be is frankly unhinged if you think about it for more than a few moments. This isn't a matter of coming to grips with a child different from yourself, and learning who they are, and helping them be the best them that they can be: this authority grants parents the right to determine what a child can be, with ZERO oversight, and no ability for the child themselves to speak on the subject until it's possibly a decade or more too late. It's incredibly frustrating as well because the same Evangelicals who will claim that every woman must be ready to lay down her life to bring a child into the world will then out of the direct other side of their mouths claim that that child, once born, has effectively no rights if said rights are potentially to be utilized against this unquestionable authority wielded by their parents. | | |
| ▲ | OneDeuxTriSeiGo 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | The issue is that by forcing children to identify themselves to access information, be it the internet or a library, etc is that by doing so you are normalising that there are limits to what knowledge a person is allowed to consume or possess based on who they are. That immediately paves the way for expansion of those restrictions. We see that currently with efforts to "protect the children" by limiting access to things like porn. It's reasonable on it's face but immediately gets weaponised to start banning access to any content that isn't gender or sex normative. | | |
| ▲ | RajT88 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Indeed. This is how precedents get abused. There is a very intentional framing of "protecting children" while book bans are really targeting what are more fairly described as "young adults". The goal is of course ensuring young adults are only exposed to a certain world view. | |
| ▲ | milesrout 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | It is good to normalise that because that is true. Children are not allowed access to lots of things, and that is a good thing. Yes, "content that isn't gender or sex normative" should be included. Children should not be exposed to sexual subcultures or encouraged to experiment with gender non-conformity. They are not ready to handle that. | | |
| ▲ | LPisGood 11 minutes ago | parent | next [-] | | What is it about “sexual subcultures” that are inherently dangerous as opposed to the main culture that is inherently safe. Is a book character being gay unsafe for kids in a way that the same character being straight is not? | |
| ▲ | bokoharambe 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | The real question is, what is it that you're so afraid of with gender/sexuality that you think it makes sense to show some expressions of it but not others? Sexual norms change regardless of what is officially considered normative and regardless of what is repressed, so you must know you're fighting a losing battle. So who or what is it exactly that you're fighting for? I think it has more to do with yourself than with children. |
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| ▲ | 6 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | [deleted] | |
| ▲ | squigz 8 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | > But identification as a child doesn't need to stop you from accessing opposing viewpoints, it needs to stop you from accessing... that. The problem is you'll be hard-pressed to have one without the other - not to mention that even if it starts off like that, the system is so easily abused to destroy privacy on the Internet for everyone, not just kids. And by the way, I do actually believe more people need to see graphic violence, and I do believe it helps people grow. We all hear about gun violence and club shootings and the like, but it doesn't drive home the reality of it. Do I think kids should see that? Probably not, but I also don't believe it's inherently going to 'traumatize' all of them - I saw much of the same stuff you did, I'm sure, and I don't count it amongst my trauma. | | |
| ▲ | soulofmischief 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I saw people literally get scalped and flayed alive growing up on the internet and all it did was increase my empathy for people and compel me to pay attention to the violent struggles happening around the world. I'm not saying exposure to such material doesn't risk traumatizing a child or even an adult, or that I am entirely untraumatized by what I've seen, but it still pales in comparison to the violence I faced at home. The problem is that it's like abstinence or prohibition: If such material is legally restricted, when people do encounter these materials, it won't be in a safe environment and the risk for trauma is much greater. To be clear, I do understand that some people fetishize violence, but I believe this risk is also greater if there is not a safe avenue for understanding the darkest sides of humanity. | | |
| ▲ | SpicyLemonZest 7 hours ago | parent [-] | | Being compelled to pay attention to violent struggles doesn't sound to me like a particularly good thing. Nothing wrong with empathizing, donating, doing what you can for the causes you happen to hear about. But in my experience, people who are incapable of ever tuning out violence inevitably fall down radicalization spirals about it. There's just nothing I can meaningfully say or do about most of the violence in the world. | | |
| ▲ | soulofmischief 6 hours ago | parent [-] | | My argument is about restriction, not compulsion. But on the subject of compulsion: there is definitely a line where utility is not worth the trauma, but as a child I was shown images of the Holocaust, of emaciated and abused Jews, and that has influenced me to now be against Israel and their continued holocaust against the Palestinian people, so I'm quite thankful for that. In general, because school introduced me to it, I read quite a lot of Holocaust-related literature in my free time, both fiction and nonfiction, and that led me to learning about ongoing genocides and neoliberal violence-backed economic power struggles, and identifying with other oppressed people across the globe, greatly influencing my politics and turning me into the exact kind of person that my current state considers radical and would love to imprison and extract slave labor from. |
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| ▲ | tbrownaw 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | > Do I think kids should see that? Probably not, but I also don't believe it's inherently going to 'traumatize' all of them - I saw much of the same stuff you did, I'm sure, and I don't count it amongst my trauma. I remember when it was fashionable for trolls to post shock images like tubgirl or lathe accidents. I seen to have survived ok. | | |
| ▲ | xvector 3 hours ago | parent [-] | | Yeah, it's my view that people don't truly understand how fragile life is unless they've seen how easily it is shattered. People would get in less street fights and do less dumb shit if they knew what the world was like. The cartels are not your friend, falling and hitting your head can kill you, wearing a seatbelt is mandatory, there are no winners in armed conflict, factory farming is not ethical, etc. People that say these things, but they don't truly understand them until they see it. | | |
| ▲ | dijit 3 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I couldn’t possibly agree more. It’s very easy to fetishise war when you have not seen the grim barbarity of true conflict. It’s not like the movies, and we should not think of it as a desired or easily entered venture. Street/Knife fights are another, I’ve seen them first hand and its impressive how mundane things or subtle movements are actually just lethal. There’s a saying that “The winner of a knife fight is the one who dies at the hospital” but even glib phrases like this are not enough to prepare you. Kids would be less keen to join gangs if they saw the brutality before thinking they might get cool points. | |
| ▲ | sanderjd 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | As with many things, the concern is that it's bimodal. Some people learn empathy through this kind of exposure, and some people learn the opposite. |
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| ▲ | __s 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | They didn't tell me that one. I could hardly read at 8 Once I started reading tho things really opened up for me | | |
| ▲ | dhosek 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | There was an article I read by Keith Gessen about contacting his 3rd grade teacher as a parent during Covid and the thing that stuck out with me was the teacher talking about how some kids entered kindergarten able to read and some didn’t learn until second grade and in third grade, you’d be hard-pressed to know which ones were which. This helped calm me as a parent of kids who entered first grade in the fall of 2020 not able to read (I was one of those early readers). My daughter picked up reading during the course of first grade but her twin brother not so much. Then, during the first month of second grade, he went from refusing to read “the” in a chapter title when I would read to them at bedtime to being a self-sufficient solo reader pretty much overnight. Both of my kids are pretty dedicated readers now. When we go on vacation, if they spot a library, they want to visit it. I’m always happy to oblige. | | |
| ▲ | no_wizard 3 hours ago | parent [-] | | I was one of the kids who didn’t learn to read until the 3rd grade. The only kid, as I was made aware at the time. At first the urgency to rectify the situation propelled me into not only learning but reading a lot, but I didn’t know how much my peers were reading or what, so I started reading voraciously Didn’t take long to outpace my peers. I have kept it up ever since |
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| ▲ | soulofmischief 8 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | And? I was literally reading high school and college texts then, are you indirectly claiming that this wasn't the case? | | |
| ▲ | grandempire 8 hours ago | parent [-] | | No I don’t doubt your ability to read. I just happened to grow up in a similar time and culture with libraries, child prodigies, etc and it seems quaint and a little silly in retrospect. | | |
| ▲ | soulofmischief 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I see, thanks for clarifying. I don't know. I still think the most important thing we can do is empower children to be as smart and well-rounded as they can be. As the only intellectual, atheist, etc. in my entire living family I experienced a near-constant struggle for growing myself despite my circumstances. I lived in poverty and abuse, under constant surveillance, and was subject to a cultural war for my own mind against my family and government. This led to strong feelings about my own capabilities and intellectualism, and a desire to prove others wrong about my limitations. Maybe on one side it might seem a little silly, but the child in me still takes all of this extremely seriously even now in my 30s. The cultural and intellectual war against children never ended, we just stopped paying attention or became complicit with the system. | | |
| ▲ | grandempire 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | > I still think the most important thing we can do is empower children to be as smart and well-rounded as they can be I agree. If we were actually gifted kids they should have given us real challenges with a chance of failure or discovery. Instead they just told us how smart we were and taught to emulate the appearance of intelligent people. Memorizing passages, quotes, checking out prestigious books. It’s to such a degree that much of millennial culture is references and tokens of intellectual landmarks from the 20th century - with no accomplishments for itself. | |
| ▲ | t43562 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | I did NOT experience this level of abuse or control but I did go to a religious school - not a weird one but you know they beat children just as much or more as the other schools there did and all that talk about the kindness of Jesus seemed to mean very little to them. Information was not controlled there, however, so one eventually did get to make one's own mind up. I can see how you had a struggle to emerge and overcome a form of control. I can understand it because I had a similar, though much smaller, struggle. |
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| ▲ | MattPalmer1086 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | I also studied independently at a more advanced level than I was supposed to be at. Not sure I follow why this seems quaint or silly to you. | | |
| ▲ | tbrownaw 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Half of all people are above average. (Or maybe a third of all people if you count it as a range rather than a point.) | | |
| ▲ | rightbyte 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | Only if you assume normal distrubition or similar where median and average are the same. |
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| ▲ | grandempire 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | What did it do for you? | | |
| ▲ | MattPalmer1086 6 hours ago | parent [-] | | I enjoyed it, and it gave me confidence that I was capable of doing some interesting things. My schooling wasn't very inspirational. Still not sure why it seems silly to you. | | |
| ▲ | grandempire 3 hours ago | parent [-] | | What seems silly to me is the particular cultural excitement and optimism around education and liberalism, and the way it was manifest in school, that I lived through as a kid and is now dead. |
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