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▲ jlos a day ago

Men feel isolated because they are. They don’t reach out because they intuit being vulnerable will not help them.

Why would we question their feelings??

Male loneliness is a symptom of community breakdown along with growing economic expectations from institutions (corporations and government) that rely on them for revenue and labor.

Smaller local communities do value men’s contributions, but those have been liquidated in favour of Institutional Liberalism.

So as a man, you now *have* to live as an individual. The state is hostile to your interests, the market is hostile to your interests, and, as a group (not individually), women are hostile to your interests.

But as a man you can define your own worth apart from social validation, find other like minded men for camaraderie, and still lead a meaningful life.

▲TFNA a day ago | parent [-]

I have spent a lot of time in countries with strong male community even to this day: cafe culture where the menfolk of the town meet daily, sometimes for hours. I speak the languages and can be a full participant.

As a man, I find those cultures just as vexsome as the cultures of isolation and anomie. Men talking one-on-one or up to three-four people have a good dynamic. But when men assemble into larger groups and a public male society, they inevitably talk about football, fucking women, toilet humor, and other inane things. Also, a pecking order is always established in large male groups, and men on this neurodivergence-heavy site are likely to be at the very bottom of it. Be careful what you wish for.

▲jlos a day ago | parent | next [-]

Basically agree with you, adding that you’re likely a better candidate for individualism.

Most men (most people) don’t do well as true individuals. They need the inane group cohesion.

▲gib444 a day ago | parent | prev [-]

> Also, a pecking order is always established in large male groups, and men on this neurodivergence-heavy site are likely to be at the very bottom of it. Be careful what you wish for.

A $500,000 total comp engineer with a wife and a house in California set to retire at 50 vs a $60,000 bar tender in Ohio with a hotter wife and muscles. Who's higher in the chain? Genuine question

▲TFNA a day ago | parent | next [-]

Now imagine a culture where neurodivergent but wealthy you has to regularly sit at a cafe table or attend religious observance with men who are overwhelmingly the latter type. Being ostracized or mocked daily would still sting in spite of your enviable wealth.

▲six_seven a day ago | parent | prev | next [-]

In the chain of what??

▲gib444 18 hours ago | parent [-]

Used as a synonym of pecking order. And if you're still confused like me, ask the OP lol. Or Jordan Peterson I guess

▲anal_reactor a day ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Most likely the engineer won't find other dudes relatable, so he won't be taking part in the dick measuring contest, so he'll be at the bottom. Meanwhile the bartender has the same core values as the rest of the group, and has more achievements that are aligned with those values.

When I was a kid I was one of the best students at school which gave me negative respect from peers who valued sports, physical power, and pissing off teachers, which were things I sucked at. I think that your example is a similar situation.

▲watwut a day ago | parent | prev | next [-]

If they are jealous, you.

▲dghlsakjg a day ago | parent | prev [-]

The mistake here is trying to stack rank people as if there is a universal ideal. Society is not a linear chain, its a multidimensional web.

I - genuinely - do not aspire to either of these lives, although pieces of both appeal.