Take their phone and set it up, including the chat with you.

Show them the icon.

Listen to them bitch about the differences from what they’re used to, and inconvenience of “needing to check a second place”.

If it doesn’t work that way, or if the bitching lasts longer than 1 week to 1 month, you’ve bit off more than you can chew, abort.

> What do you recommend others do to make XMPP or Matrix an attractive experience for a regular person?

Be someone they really want to be any to reach!