> Not everything that seems like a big deal to a toddler is one, and simply reaffirming that won't help

Some of divorces happen because one partner thinks the other partner's concern is not "big deal".

The goal is not to teach what issues are critical and what is not. This they will learn over time. The goal is to teach them empathy and you show it by example, showing empathy to their concerns - big or small.

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bonoboTP 13 hours ago | parent [-]

If you're an asshole, this stuff won't help. If you're a balanced person, obsessing over what words to use will just make you more anxious and worried and will do more harm to the kid than if you're just relaxed and say or phrase something in a way the parenting experts and TikTok therapists deem a nono.

	▲	ivell 12 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		> obsessing over what words to use will just make you more anxious and worried It is not exact words to memorize. It is about what attitude you bring to your child. If you really try to understand the toddler's sadness, you would realize that something important to her has been lost and instead of disregarding it as unimportant (for an adult), you would help her to find, make her understand her emotions etc. This is more about being empathetic and not about the right words to use. In case of psychologists, they are giving example phrases - doesn't have to be exact as long as the spirit of those phrases are maintained. Obviously being as asshole doesn't help, but most of the times children of assholes tend to be assholes due to the same reasons.
	▲	12 hours ago \| parent \| prev \| next [-]
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	▲	_DeadFred_ 12 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		Parenting with love isn't phrasing. Parenting with love and logic gives a framework of understanding for a child to grow within, versus them learning (being forced) to adapt their behavior to arbitrary rules.