Parents should focus on enabling their children to be:

Curious; Resourceful; Self-reliant (to feel they have agency in the world); Compassionate; Value personal integrity, themselves, their ideas / wishes, and time on the planet; Able to cooperate, communicate, and work as a team; Able to make sacrifices for the future versions of themselves ("I'm having a bad day today, what can I do to make tomorrow me have a better day?"); Able to enjoy life and find fulfillment (however small) even in bad times.

School subjects, economies, social constructs, technology, they all change. A human who's motivated to develop themselves on topics like the above will be the best person they can be whether they are a CEO or living in a cave underground after an apocalypse.

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somenameforme 12 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Your children will, in large part, become you. It's likely about as close as we'll ever really get to 'transferring our consciousness' which never made any sense anyhow. Even if your brain was able to be scanned and then simulated atom by atom, your 'consciousness transferal' kit would be a brain scanner and a gun with one bullet.

So I think the answer is to first make yourself into somebody you're happy with, and then be yourself. Somebody who's happy with themselves is going to have a good life, regardless of how the world turns. And I think people who are happy with themselves also tend to be better humans to other people, regardless of all of these other terms and values we try to impose on this.

Like if somebody's belittling some service worker, it's not because of a lack of compassion, communication skills, emotional intelligence, or whatever else - it's because that person probably hates themselves, and they're taking out their own self loathing on others.

	▲	port11 8 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		I understand what you mean, but I also find that my son is very much his own person. He’ll (hopefully) inherit our best traits and values, but his interests and personality are quite his own. I wouldn’t advise parents on expecting their kids to be like them, except in copying your best and worst examples (“do as I say” doesn’t work).
	▲	red-iron-pine 7 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		citation needed. i can think of several people nothing like the rest of their family in a mental sense. they look the same for sure, but very different. "transferring consciousness" when that consciousness is 50% different

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weatherlite 15 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

> Parents should focus on enabling their children to be: Curious; Resourceful; Self-reliant (to feel they have agency in the world); Compassionate; Value personal integrity, themselves, their ideas / wishes, and time on the planet; Able to cooperate, communicate, and work as a team; Able to make sacrifices for the future versions of themselves ("I'm having a bad day today, what can I do to make tomorrow me have a better day?"); Able to enjoy life and find fulfillment (however small) even in bad times.

Could be nice to have if the parents knew how to do all that themselves ...

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furyg3 14 hours ago | parent [-]

This list is my notes on what I'd like to be able to pass on after my limited 10 years of parenting. That learning process has been primarily an exercise about where I, too, need to develop. Parenting... you do your best even though it's not enough.

I'd also add that I struggled with the word 'teach' or 'guide' and settled on 'enable'. Different kids (and parents) have different intrinsic abilities or interest in each of these categories. Doing your best to make it at least possible for a child to see the value of them and possibly even make progress is already a great accomplishment.

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weatherlite 13 hours ago | parent [-]

Don't get me wrong I like that list and agree with everything in it. I just think, as others have said, kids are smart. They pick up on our shit and unfortunately internalize a lot of our values, insecurities, biases, anxieties.

You can't really teach/enable any of that stuff for real without living it yourself and being an example - which is very difficult because most of us weren't really raised that way ourselves, so we're not like that.

I'm not so sure what my point is other than that change is very difficult and raising children is difficult and raising them to be genuinely good people will be very hard without change.

	▲	thunspa 11 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Amen. When I realized this, it let me chill out a lot as a parent of smol kids. There's as many good parents as there are good people, is my rough heuristic now. So I try to focus on being a good person, the rest is at the margins.

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sebastiansm7 14 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

How do I teach my children to be like that if I am not all that?

Maybe we'll have to improve and learn together. How do I start?

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higeorge13 17 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Best comment in the thread.

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aryehof 15 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

You can’t control or enable your children …

You can, however, be a good role-model.

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Arodex 16 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

>Curious; Resourceful; Self-reliant (to feel they have agency in the world); Compassionate; Value personal integrity, themselves, their ideas / wishes, and time on the planet; Able to cooperate, communicate, and work as a team; Able to make sacrifices for the future versions of themselves ("I'm having a bad day today, what can I do to make tomorrow me have a better day?"); Able to enjoy life and find fulfillment (however small) even in bad times.

77 million Americans voted to give the higher office and nuclear codes to the complete opposite of that.

Before you roll your eyes and cuss about "someone inserting politics yet again in a topic": kids aren't dumb and have enough innocence to see when adults say something and do the opposite, and not be ok with it. And it is a big part of becoming a jaded, cynical adolescent and adult.

So if you want your kids to have these qualities, show them yourself. Or be very clear with them that you don't and explain why.

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exoverito 12 hours ago | parent | next [-]

There haven't been any good options for president in a long time. Democracy is mostly an illusion. Nearly every politician has been corrupted and co-opted by corporations, the military industrial complex, deep state, and perverse special interests. Obama was a huge disappointment, infamously bailed out Wall St and arrested zero bankers over the GFC, ACA was a massive giveaway to the private health insurance corporations, expanded mass surveillance, presided over the persecution of whistle blowers, engaged in widespread drone bombing and regime change wars in the middle east...

Biden was a senile career politician. His administration pushed for confrontation with Russia over bringing Ukraine into NATO, and did nothing about Israel's genocide in Gaza. When it became obvious Biden was effectively brain dead, much like Mitch McConnell now, the DNC appointed Kamala without a primary -- another glaring example of their subversion of touted democratic principles. She was yet another empty suit, incapable of expressing original ideas, and would have done basically the exact same things as Trump like allowing Israel to expand theirs wars of choice in the middle east.

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dennis_jeeves2 9 hours ago | parent | next [-]

>Democracy is mostly an illusion.

This is accurate but most people will not recognize it that way because it's designed that way.

Prior to 'democracy' the peasants revolted and that occasionally had some very nasty consequences for the ruling class. Now when the peasants have the urge to revolt - you just remind them them to do a better job at 'voting'. Like they say in a democracy: Consent is manufactured.

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amanaplanacanal 12 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

You think Kamala would have been exactly like Trump? Really?

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braj0 10 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Of everything he mentioned, your TDS causes you to only care that he voted for the 'other' teams star player? Our country (the U.S.) is doomed and deserves it.

	▲	braincat31415 9 hours ago \| parent [-]
		It's especially funny since he didn't even mention who he voted for. A mere hint of criticism of the preferred party triggered an attack mode right away.

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dennis_jeeves2 9 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

The grass is generally greener on the other side.

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Arodex 11 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Just a big brain effort to wash their hands of any responsibility.

Democracy is not just voting and expecting things to fall your way. You have to convince. You have to organize. You have to nourish the civil society through sustained effort. You need to have reasonable expectations and make choices, not whine and wish you had you cake and eat it.

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RAWGOD 16 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

[dead]

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GardenLetter27 16 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

And the US has the greatest economy in the world as a result. No losing millions to corrupt licensing and permitting schemes, council / tribunal approvals, certifications and mandatory examinations, etc.

As a Europoor it's sad seeing my young nephew growing up, and realising he will have far better opportunities in the US or China than here, where everything is blocked, taxed and regulated to maintain the status quo.

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MayeulC 15 hours ago | parent | next [-]

I am not sure where you got this dichotomy, but the appropriation process in the USA certainly has its own corruption issues, strong industrial lobbies are IMO a form of legal corruption (including campaign donations), and the current administration is in a class of its own wrt corruption and wasteful spending.

The USA certainly have the "best" (according to some metrics) economy in the world, but the reasons are complex, diverse, and mainly historical.

I will concede that some areas see fewer regulations, leading to a leaner permitting process (though it has consequences on road safety, environment pollution and gun safety, for instance).

However, it is hard to predict the future, and I am unsure if your last point will stand the test of time. For instance, if/when the AI bubble pop, the USA job market will probably suffer more than others. It is tempting to always see greener grass elsewhere, but Europe isn't in such a bad position compared to the USA.

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bossyTeacher 15 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

> realising he will have far better opportunities in the US or China than here, where everything is blocked, taxed and regulated to maintain the status quo.

Those two countries have far worse inequality than most countries in Europe. So yes, he might have better opportunities in US and China, but that's because he was born in Europe and will be in a better position to choose his future than if he had been born in a country where the inequality level meant he could not access the opportunities available in that country. You need to think about why those countries have better opportunities in the first place. They paid a price for that.

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hersko 11 hours ago | parent [-]

> Those two countries have far worse inequality than most countries in Europe

There is inequality because they have more super rich people, whereas in Europe there is less inequality but everyone is poorer. This is why inequality is a pointless argument.

	▲	bossyTeacher 3 hours ago \| parent [-]
		> There is inequality because they have more super rich people Not quite, they also have more poor people to a scale that doesn't exist in many countries in Europe. A consequence of having more poor people: strain on the healthcare and justice systems (relatively more acutely ill people, relatively more people committing crime) and bad educational outcomes (poor people tend to score lower). A consequence of having more rich people: democratic processes are regularly under pressure due to the influence of rich people trying to make more favourable processes. Government institutions getting swayed by money from these rich people in exchange for preferable treatment.