I have always disliked public speaking and oral defense since I was a child, to the point of fairly profound anxiety. But please withhold you woe—these people are, as I am today, adults. Masters students. Coddling them and holding low expectations has proven to be a sort of “killing them with kindness” approach to handling modern youth. People need to be encouraged (and required) to do things they don’t like to become proper functioning adults. I didnt like it, and I still don’t, as it the case with most everyone. But we all grow from it.

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zem 3 hours ago | parent | next [-]

> But please withhold you woe

as a side note, "woe betide you" roughly means "you're in for a very bad time", not "I feel sorry for you".

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LoganDark 3 hours ago | parent [-]

"Woe" is also sometimes used to tell someone to just suck it up and deal with it. In those cases it is a way to make fun of someone for being too sensitive or complaining too much.

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zem 3 hours ago | parent [-]

sure, but what I was pointing out here is that "woe betide you" is a specific idiomatic phrase. it's usually used as a threat, i.e. "woe betide you if you do that".

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LoganDark 2 hours ago | parent [-]

I didn't see it as a threat here at all. I think it was just pointing out an underserved part of the population when it comes to this. And I think "withhold your woe" was meant to say that getting out of your comfort zone can be beneficial sometimes (or in other words, that it's not necessarily actually underserving).

	▲	zem 2 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		I think we're talking past each other here :) I wasn't speaking of whether it was a good or a bad thing, I was just pointing out that "woe" meaning "a misfortune or calamity" is the only meaning of the word that applies to the phrase "woe betide", the more common meaning of woe meaning grief or sorrow doesn't apply here because it's an idiom, not two separate words. I was pointing it out because the first comment I was replying to was clearly unpacking the word "woe" from the phrase "woe betide" and I figured they would appreciate the linguistic footnote.
	▲	RandomTisk 2 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		Funny, one of you sees it from the perspective of someone who thinks "to those" is other people not themselves and the other does the opposite.

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lll-o-lll 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

I used to throw up and faint as a youngster, when having to do talks. Was unable to call people on the phone for years. Anxiety is a bitch.

However, the only way out is through. I confidently speak in front of 100’s regularly. I can pick up the damn phone (still a twinge of anxiety, but nothing like it was). The cure that works just seems to be “do it until it’s mundane”.

As an aside, it’s vital from the career perspective. You can’t let fear, no matter how extreme it feels, stop you. It’s a terrible cliche, but still true “no courage without fear”.

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jambalaya8 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

If you aren't capable of this, in most careers you won't be able to use your degree anyway. The only other even marginally acceptable compromise is something like the essay portions of what used to be sit down tests with only pen and paper, but longform and supervised closely.

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jambalaya8 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

(Note I say this because optimally, this encourages less "supervisory" desires by others later in one's career. If your peers and overseers get out of your way, maybe you will relax more and not feel so anxious all the time. Sorry for the second comment not an edit, testing new HN clients.)

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khazhoux 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Classic “get over it” condescension. Some people are unable to control their strong physiological reaction to in-person judgement. Go tell professional orchestra players who rely on propranolol to control their stage fright to just grow up and start becoming a “proper functioning adult.”

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/hast.70031

https://www.thecrimson.com/column/a-night-at-the-symphony/ar...

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wyan 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Taking propranolol in this case is, in fact, an example of being a functioning adult, and a solution that also works for oral examinations.

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sensanaty an hour ago | parent | prev | next [-]

I have approx 10 meetings a week, usually more, sometimes less. Let's say around 8 hours a week spent in meetings, sometimes with people who hold the power to fire me.

Depending on your role this number can be much higher.

I'd say "get over it", because this is simply a fact of life and you'll have to talk to and present in front of a group of people at some point, perhaps regularly too.

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cpburns2009 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Good luck working in the real world if you can't handle interpersonal interactions or being judged. The coddling has to stop. It's doing no one any good.

	▲	jimnotgym 3 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		Is there coddling. I thought this article was about making students do something their predecessors didn't have to do?

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tekla 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Welcome to the adult world. When I get worked up from a interaction, by BP goes into the "holy shit you need to be in the emergency room right now before your heart explodes". And not metaphorically, I have been sent to the emergency room and admitted about a half dozen times for this.

I take my meds so that my heart does not explode from talking to a person. So yeah at some point, deal with it.