There are some people I'm not friends with anymore who didn't understand conversational bidding. They would jump straight to Why Don't You Google That and shut down any conversation we might have had.

Yes I could get some of this information off of IMDB or a DIY video but I'm looking for color commentary and regional advice, and also in some of these situations, the people I asked know me. They know the sorts of things I don't need help on and the ones I struggle with. So maybe they can tell me this movie or trick isn't for me and I should try this other thing instead. Or which store I should go to for this.

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sublinear a day ago | parent | next [-]

I do agree that most LMGTFY was obnoxious, and I'm not defending that.

At the same time, we have historically seen a lot of "conversational bidding" lead to low quality shitposting at best. At worst, we see wildly out of touch echo chambers fueled by bots, guerilla marketing, and political agendas.

You did solve your problem by seeking higher quality people to talk to. I'm just saying there is more to rejection than the other party "not understanding".

In the context of work chat or certain events, I could understand a LMGTFY response as steering conversation out of the mud and saving everyone the headache. It also helps you, the recipient of that response, save face.

They're the ones looking like an asshole while you get another chance to try somewhere else. I've met some of the most sociable people upon realizing their usage of these "jiu-jitsu moves" were not meant to be hostile.

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mapontosevenths a day ago | parent | prev [-]

> There are some people I'm not friends with anymore who didn't understand conversational bidding.

To you the "bid" feels like a genuine attempt to connect, that may be a bit indirect.

To some people it feels more like you are being disingenuous or awkward. They instinctively feel that your intent doesnt match your words and it sets off alarms bells.

The fact that you're on the internet judging the other party negatively for having a different communication style is an indicator of which party was least willing to adapt.

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	▲	hinkley a day ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		And you're going to right that wrong by making assumptions. It's usually not the person who gets asked who acts like an asshole, and if you don't don't want to be judged by people for your behavior, start by not openly and loudly judging them for theirs. No sympathy for this sort of behavior and you're out of line. Or you're the problem. I'll let you decide since I don't know you.