| ▲ | norome 8 hours ago |
| I just pretend I haven't noticed they have earbuds in and start talking to them. Virtually everyone seems happy to have an interaction, I get the feeling people are a bit starved for random friendly contact. |
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| ▲ | kdheiwns 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] |
| I don't wear AirPods/headphones of any sort in public but I don't like talking to strangers while out and about and get very uncomfortable since it's almost always someone trying to get something from me. But every time someone does randomly talk to me, I smile and laugh and I'm very cordial. Because people who approach strangers generally get quite angry when they're outright shot down. That doesn't at all mean I'm happy to talk. A smile is often just a defensive response. |
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| ▲ | ChoGGi 3 hours ago | parent [-] | | Just trying to spread a little cheer and human connection, getting angry is the last thing I'd do. | | |
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| ▲ | jnovek 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| > Virtually everyone seems happy to have an interaction If a stranger bothers me while I have my headphones on I may act friendly and polite, but I am actually very irritated. |
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| ▲ | steve1977 7 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| I would get very irritated by such behavior. One reason I wear earbuds is to
signal that I don't want to get talked to. |
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| ▲ | GJim 7 hours ago | parent [-] | | Have you tried simply telling people you don't want to talk? "Sorry mate, I'm reading" is hardly difficult. | | |
| ▲ | steve1977 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Why would you initiate talk with me in the first place, when we're in a situation where I have not explicitly chosen contact with you? (say on a train) Also reading something would be a clear signal (also to me) that a person doesn't want to get disturbed. When I have to tell you that I don't want to talk, you have already disturbed me. So, taking the cues here clearly is on you, not on me, at least in my
opinion. Edit: To clarify a bit, I'm talking about places with involuntary social contact, like for example a train or a grocery store. I go on a train because I have to get somewhere, not because I want to interact with people. It would be a different scenario say in a bar. | | |
| ▲ | poncho_romero an hour ago | parent [-] | | If you are in a public space, I think it's totally fair game to initiate talk. It's also totally fair game to signal that you aren't interested. |
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| ▲ | techdmn 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | This is actually very difficult for a significant number of people. Some people really struggle with saying "no" or enforcing boundaries, some people are very wary of negative interactions with strangers. If you are relying on people to explicitly push back on you, rather than reading more subtle queues, you are quite likely adding stress to someone's day. | | |
| ▲ | poncho_romero an hour ago | parent [-] | | I think most will pick up on subtle cues. That said, there is nothing wrong with being direct. And for those people who struggle with saying no, well, practice makes perfect. |
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| ▲ | wolvoleo 6 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | If you're reading it's kinda obvious, and it's pretty annoying to be interrupted. | |
| ▲ | dpkirchner an hour ago | parent | prev [-] | | A dozen times a day, every day? No thanks. |
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| ▲ | rimliu 6 hours ago | parent | prev [-] |
| So you are bad at reading signs. And that "seems happy" may be just "are too polite to punch you". |
