It is a common tactic among abusive parents to convince their child without them, they'd be unable to survive in the wider world. Any mistakes will become irrefutable proof thereof, and any attempts to break this control and do things on their own will be treated as ingratitude, often prompting the abuser to instantly abandon all parental duties to "teach a lesson".

It's not an innate ability. Takes a solid decade of actual parenting for people to acquire this skill.

And if the person is high energy, then that energy needs to be channeled.

if they are unable to self-regulate, then jailing them at home and school is definitely not a solution for that.

Then it's a questionable move to one day hand them _all_ the responsibility they had previously lacked.

You can also ask if the rate of this occurrence is increasing or decreasing.

That's not a counterpoint. The inverse of "shelter too long" is "shelter less long", not "zero shelter ever".

(And the proper way to do "less long" is to slowly loosen up over time.)

There needs to be both things - the opportunity to make mistakes, and the support to make it okay after mistakes are made.

Sounds like you got the first but not the second, which must have been tough. Hope you're doing better now.

12 is the magic number when things start going to shit. I'm sorry for what happened to you but maybe you should start a counselling service for clueless parents and tell them what should they do and what they shouldn't to correctly shelter the children. Because sheltering is an art. I think about it all the time. I always wish some one would take a bit of money but tell me how to guide or not guide my child to be independent in the rough world and to take decisions independently

There's a balance to be struck, it shouldn't be all or nothing.

I thought it was a typo but I see you've replied elsewhere that these really are the two options

> I've seen it go both ways where children with freedom [turn bad] and sheltered kids turn [good]

So you've seen it one way, as in, each approach leading to one specific outcome? "Both ways" would be sheltered leading to different outcomes in different cases, or unsheltered leading to different outcomes in different cases

I don't feel like I've been sheltered. My parents literally proposed that I drink some alcohol and encouraged that I go out partying at some point. Both things still don't interest me. (At least they didn't tell me to smoke, lol. But alcohol seems to be considered normal and potentially even healthy in small doses so they thought I should try it.) Online, I later learned that their opinion was that I'll just not look up things which I don't want to see, and in my case that has been true. I'm sorry to tell you I never had a porn addiction

Someone else pointed out that such anecdotes are survivorship bias: you might not see the people that didn't turn out alright. In my case that's certainly true, I'm not sure that I know anyone who didn't turn out okay. We take different paths through life but if you can provide for yourself and dependents, and are happy most of the time, I'd count that as success (also dependent on age: I'm not counting that my 90yo grandpa is currently often unhappy due to bad health)

Freedom without supervision vs supervision without freedom, both failures of parenting.

"pornography habits"

Putting onanism in the same sentence as drug abuse really weakens your argument.