Remix.run Logo
otikik 3 hours ago

> This happens gradually. In middle school, you learn that certain enthusiasms are embarrassing. In high school, you learn which opinions are acceptable in your social group. In college, you refine your persona further. By the time you're an adult, you've become so skilled at reading rooms and ajusting accordingly that you don't even notice you're doing it. You've automated your own inauthenticity.

What the author is describing is called masking/social camouflage. It is usually a symptom of something deeper - be it low self-esteem, infant trauma, etc. I am not a mental health expert, but I do think that getting to the original cause and treating that will tend to give better results than concentrating on the symptoms.

b0rtb0rt 3 hours ago | parent [-]

the ability to read the room and know how to act in different social situations is a symptom of low self esteem?

ragall 2 hours ago | parent [-]

Low self esteem and conformism, especially strong in the US where the mainstream culture is based on Northern European social norms and puritanism. The tolerance for excentricity is very low.