| ▲ | athenot 10 hours ago |
| This is a fun app. One way I deal with people talking on speakerphone, is inviting myself into their conversation and making comments as if I were an active participant. That usually earns me a weird look, and then they go off speaker so I can't hear what's been said. Success. Similar with folks watching reels on speaker, I fake a laugh or make comments about the content. It's awkward enough that they usually stop because they want a moment alone, not an interactive session with a stranger. Which ironically is the same thing I want too. |
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| ▲ | indrora 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] |
| A friend of mine works AV at shows that have rotating DJs and one of the things she has on her mixer board is "The Suck Button." It causes a mic at the other end of the room to get cut into the DJ's live feed monitor with a semitone shift down and some reverb. This causes all sorts of inner-ear chaos and usually clears a DJ off the stage when they're over time within a few minutes at most -- usually under 30 seconds. One time they were trying to figure out why it wasn't working and discovered that the DJ had muted their monitor feed, which explained why they were not only peaking the meters but over time: They hadn't heard the FOUR warnings from the back of house that it was time to wrap up. |
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| ▲ | inlined 6 hours ago | parent [-] | | There was a coffee shop ages ago in SF that would every few hours play a cacophony (e.g. multiple songs at once). I assume it was to drive away people camping on their laptops to rotate tables. Understand but super annoying to people like me who had a timer to but food or drink no less than hourly to be a good citizen | | |
| ▲ | acomjean 6 hours ago | parent [-] | | We had a friend who would play Metal when the ice cream store he worked at was closed but the customers were lingering too long. It generally worked, as he was immune. | | |
| ▲ | reincarnate0x14 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I introduced my local restaurant owner to Mongolian Techno and the late night bar flies and some of the kitchen staff have never forgiven me. He won't admit if he plays it for himself, or because of them :) | | | |
| ▲ | WalterBright 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | I play disco music to keep the kids off my lawn. | |
| ▲ | bigiain 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | A live music venue near me plays this when it's time for people to GTFO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Tiz6INF7I | |
| ▲ | 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | I was at a coffee shop once that was playing metal while my writing group was meeting there and I just thought they had excellent taste (it was not near closing time) |
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| ▲ | pseudosavant 8 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| I've recently become a convert to this kind of thinking. The person invited the public to join in when they decided to have a public speakerphone call. If they don't want my responses or laughter, they get annoyed and stop the behavior I was finding annoying in the first place. I don't even have to act like I'm bothered by it, or that I find their behavior offensive. They change their behavior because they are bothered by mine. |
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| ▲ | onethought 7 hours ago | parent [-] | | How is that different than two people talking in person? Do you interrupt them as well? | | |
| ▲ | itishappy 7 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Yup. Online too! I have no qualms about adding my two cents to any loud public conversations. | |
| ▲ | mezyt 6 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | A half conversation is a lot more disruptive because your brain try to fill in the gap of information. | | |
| ▲ | cortesoft 4 hours ago | parent [-] | | This comment chain is talking about people using speakerphone, though, meaning they hear both sides of the conversation | | |
| ▲ | jomohke 2 hours ago | parent [-] | | In theory yes, but in practice they usually have the speaker up far higher than they are speaking themselves so we do only hear one side clearly. I think the high distractability is a trifecta of volume, non-naturallness of the sound (compression etc: feeling out of place in the space) and this point. |
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| ▲ | stavros 6 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | Do you think having your conversation on speakerphone in public is the same as talking to someone? | | |
| ▲ | sdenton4 6 hours ago | parent [-] | | People talking to each other in person tend to modulate their voices to match the context. People talking on speakerphone tend to crank the volume and shout. | | |
| ▲ | dredmorbius 27 minutes ago | parent | next [-] | | It's similar to the distinction between a driver having a conversation with a passenger in a vehicle vs. the same driver having a phone call, even in a hands-free / speakerphone mode. The passenger will be far more aware of context and circumstances, including traffic or other hazards, and will generally adapt to those surroundings. The remote party simply has no access to those cues. (And yes, some passengers may be oblivious, for various reasons, including but not limited to children. I'm discussing the general case.) | |
| ▲ | sowbug an hour ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | And the person on the other end of the line often doesn't realize how uncivil the situation is. They might know they're on speakerphone, but they actually can't see that they're interrupting the trains of thought of dozens of people around them. This means the content of the conversation is more likely to be inappropriate for public consumption, making it even more distracting for the forced participants. The person holding the speakerphone is to blame, of course, but they often seem to go into a state of pathological flow where they're almost as oblivious as their conversation partner. | |
| ▲ | stavros 6 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | Plus devices are tinny and grate. Watching a video on the phone of someone speaking is much more annoying than someone speaking in person, even at the same volume. | | |
| ▲ | 2 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | [deleted] | |
| ▲ | onethought 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | I think this is the only meaningful point being made in this thread. The sound from a phone speaker is annoying, more so, than a typical in person talking. To me the solution lies somewhere in fixing that to make it sound more natural. Everyone else claiming that some how having “loud” conversation is rude, feels like they’ve fallen into some anti-social hole… we are literally the only animal to have developed complex spoken language… it’s part of our humanity. | | |
| ▲ | shermantanktop an hour ago | parent | next [-] | | It’s all context. Some cultures are loud, some are quiet; some people are loud, some are quiet; some places are supposed to be loud, and so on. The people being quiet in an normally-loud place create no problems. The people being loud in a normally-quiet place are causing problems for others by violating the quiet. Loud people also tend to be oblivious to this and then get defensive when it’s pointed out. Not always - I’ve known some naturally-loud people who had figured out that being shushed meant they were in the wrong. | |
| ▲ | xp84 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | No, the loudness is a whole separate dimension. 99% of the time, there's no need to be loud in public. Not when you're talking on the phone (the microphones on a phone work great!), not when you're having a conversation with one or two other people close to you. Not when talking to Siri (etc). You can talk quietly in a place that isn't very loud, and in a place like an airport you can talk just loud enough to be clearly heard -- there's no need to shout or to project your voice. There are exceptions to this -- of course nobody expects you to worry about your volume at a concert between sets, at a sporting event, etc. But people who speak very loudly everywhere are annoying to everyone around them. |
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| ▲ | xattt 10 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| How do you deal with the small possibility that the offending person is unhinged (since they’ve already chosen to throw out societal mores out the window) and could physically hurt you? |
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| ▲ | Spooky23 8 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | It’s a two-way street. I used to have to deal with unhinged people on the regular and one of the techniques that keep the peace and stay safe is to present an edge that gives the vibe that you may be more unhinged. My dad used to run housing projects, and my uncle was an assistant principal at one of the most violent schools in New York City. They were like Jedi masters of presence. They had stories that were absolutely insane. | | |
| ▲ | getdoneist 2 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | It is pure game theory. An aggressive person expects no bad outcomes from his passive victim. If they get a signal that their own outcome may be not that good, even marginally, this very often changes their behaviour. That's why the advice to act submissively presented as "avoiding confrontation" is often the wrong advice. You are not seeking confrontation, but you should signal that you are ready for confrontation. Stops aggressive behaviour very often. | |
| ▲ | echelon_musk 5 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | > They had stories that were absolutely insane. Don't leave us hanging. | | |
| ▲ | Spooky23 an hour ago | parent | next [-] | | lol, Sure! Here’s one that was one of the crazier ones that I remember from my dad. There were a bunch of people complaining about smells coming from an apartment. The dude was a little out there and some sort of religious practitioner. The workers were afraid of the guy, but he hadn’t really done anything except be weird and creepy. So he ended up going up with a few folks to check it out. The dude was capturing (many) wild animals and boiling their blood. So much so that it was condensating on the ceiling. The dude opened the door and came at them with a bloody machete. He was babbling something about his mother, and I guess as it was told dad just softly said something along the lines of “Your mom sent us and she is not happy with what is happening here, and I think you know that.” I guess the guy stopped in his tracks, dropped the machete and started bawling. He was a special guy and made a point to treat people fairly and with respect. They’d kick out drug dealers and people who’d terrorize neighbors with dogs and such. The local street dealers beat up some guy who tried to steal his car because being diligent in the buildings was keeping their families safe. He’d take me down as a kid in the summer to hang out and help out with kids programs. It was profoundly meaningful to me as I got to understand that we are all really the same. | |
| ▲ | johnisgood 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | Yes, please give us some! |
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| ▲ | iammrpayments an hour ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | Just lift weights, or say it’s just a prank I guess | |
| ▲ | charcircuit 5 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | It's illegal for them to hurt you. | | |
| ▲ | bravetraveler 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | > It's illegal for them to hurt you. A well-known inhibitor for the unhinged. I wish I had the social awareness to troll [the right] people [well] in the moment like this. I've misjudged the dangerous ones enough, find that has blocked my words. | | |
| ▲ | charcircuit 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | It's the being in prison for years which truly inhibits them. | | |
| ▲ | evilduck 4 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Is that why our prisons sit empty? | |
| ▲ | bravetraveler 5 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | For the benefit of the next victim, maybe. The unhinged are famously forward-thinking. Hopefully you report their crime after the fact and it's met with a favorable result. All to say: "May the odds...", etc. |
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| ▲ | 8 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | [deleted] | |
| ▲ | boogieknite 9 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | [flagged] | |
| ▲ | away0g 9 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | [flagged] | | |
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| ▲ | anotherevan 6 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| Sidled up next to the guy and said loudly, “Mr Smith? Mr Smith? The mistress is ready for you now!” |
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| ▲ | cool-RR 8 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] |
| It's my fantasy to do this. Congrats on having the courage. |
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| ▲ | hyperbolablabla 7 hours ago | parent [-] | | My friend does this and I feel the same way. I could never bring myself to do this, I cant even smile at people |
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| ▲ | NoSalt 9 hours ago | parent | prev [-] |
| This is a good way to shanked on the D.C. Metro. |
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| ▲ | jcbe 8 hours ago | parent [-] | | Kind of a funny day to post this (WMATA just released data showing crime rates at a 25-year low) | | |
| ▲ | lostlogin 4 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Sounds like time to send in the National Guard. | |
| ▲ | nailer 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | I have do idea about DC but I don't trust crime rate stats - a lot might be unreported. In NYC last year someone burnt someone else to death while they sat, relaxed and watched, and in a seperate incident a person died died and someone else had sex with them afterwards. It could that be crime is lower or it could be that insane brutality has become normalized. | | |
| ▲ | lostlogin 4 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | Crimes stats famously get massaged. However murders are hard to downgrade. | | | |
| ▲ | stavros 6 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | But do you have reason to believe that crime is reported less often now than in the past? | |
| ▲ | zxcvasd 7 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | [dead] |
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