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| ▲ | pixl97 10 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | You mean "As with anything in life it depends on a huge number of variables such as location, number of allies the other person has, the threat potential you represent, the number of allies you have, your standing on the social ladder, if you're in a position of power, your ability to understand social clues, the exact method how you ask, yada yada" | | |
| ▲ | ArnoVW 7 hours ago | parent [-] | | No. It delends on how you ask. Did you walk over? Did you say hi? Did you lower yourself to be around their height? Give them a second or two to get used to you? Tell them first that their noise is loud ? Ask them in a respectable tone if they would lower it, just a bit? Did you give the impression that you were asking, not demanding? Of course I won't ask a drunk or aggressive looking person. But there is a wrong way to ask, and a better one. | | |
| ▲ | jraph 6 hours ago | parent | next [-] | | I'm all for asking nicely in general but it doesn't work well with entitled people who don't give a shit about the people around them. The chances, regardless how nice you try to ask, that the person who elected to broadcast their tiktoks or calls to the whole wagon at full volume goes "oh, sorry, I'm so embarrassed, I'll turn this off", are very low. Last time I tried to ask "can you use headphones?", the guy answered "I don't have headphones" and put the volume even louder. A person who cared even a tiny bit would not have started to begin with. Asking is almost futile. These people simply seem to be used to get away with inflicting themselves to people around without consequences. The worse part is that if you do nothing, you participate in this. What can you do. I think it can only work if it becomes very socially unbearable, or if they got fined for this. Or, indeed, if it brought them nuisance. In that regard, this HN post's solution is interesting (not sure it's good though). | | |
| ▲ | pvtmert 5 hours ago | parent [-] | | i agree with this one, in this particular order, how things be in large cities & crowded areas: - loud person does not care in the first place, that's why they do the loud act - usually they are more than 1 person, outnumbering me - although some places have public disturbance prohibited laws, unless there is a law enforcement/security around, chances of me being ending up in a hospital is higher than chances of stumbling on a decent person - it is easier to act or play stupid --- on a similar note, last time when i asked someone to lower their volume while having headphones on me, they demanded my headphones because they claimed they were too poor to buy one. -- i am talking about 20$ type-c earbuds vs 16" macbook size marshall speaker. -- as a result, i did not give my headphones and they continued to play music. |
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| ▲ | dartharva an hour ago | parent | prev [-] | | > Did you walk over? Did you say hi? Did you lower yourself to be around their height? Give them a second or two to get used to you? I personally detest the kind of people who behave like this. It all just exudes deliberate fakeness; if anyone were to try this on me I'll only be irritated more than anything else. |
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| ▲ | RationPhantoms 9 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | While I agree and I'm not the OP you're replying to this feels like the burden of societal correction needs to be on the wronged and not on the person committing it? It's tolerating the intolerant (their intolerance to understanding social order). They need to be bludgeoned back (metaphorically). | |
| ▲ | on_the_train 8 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | No. People who are loud do that because they want to be loud. They want to hurt people. And they get off to weaklings being polite. The law is too slow and too forgiving for these destructive forces. We need to bring violence back in a big way. | |
| ▲ | tonymet 10 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-] | | in my experience, the more polite you are, the more likely you are to get punched in the face If you are in a venue where politely asking someone to keep it down, results in them actually responding, you generally don't need to ask. You are among conscientious people to begin with. For the most part, about 99% of the time, the whole point of drawing attention is waiting for someone to politely ask them to turn it down. And it isn't so they can respond in kind. | |
| ▲ | renewiltord 10 hours ago | parent | prev [-] | | I left my Mac on top of my car in San Francisco once and the next day when I came back it was still there. The thing with catastrophic events that occur at 1% is that even if everyone were to risk it ten times (that's a huge amount for this I think) 9 out of every 10 people would say "nah, nothing happens, I've done it ten times without anything happening" but then 1 out of 10 would die. So then the question becomes how well you've sampled that catastrophic risk before you say what the real risk is. As an example, I've been mask off and partying since as soon as that became legal. Haven't gotten sick from COVID yet. Shows, house parties, sharing drinks with people who later had it. Tested often because I was this high risk. Zero positives. I could say "actually, if you just do the things that I did you'll be fine". After all, I've been fine. Nothing happened. I just didn't get sick. I've got the winning formula. | | |
| ▲ | netcoyote 9 hours ago | parent [-] | | > I left my Mac on top of my car in San Francisco once and the next day when I came back it was still there. Not the latest model, huh? That’s certainly a passive-aggressive way to suggest you upgrade… |
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