Hi HN!

My name's Robert Escriva. I got my PhD from Cornell's Computer Science department back in 2017. And three years ago I had a psychotic episode that irreversibly shook up my world.

Since then I've been applying a skill I learned in grad school---namely, debugging distributed and complex systems---to my own mind.

What I've found I've put into a [book (pdf)](https://rescrv.net/engineering-schizophrenia.pdf) on engineering, my particular schizophrenic delusions, and how people who suffer as I once did can find a way through the fog to the other side.

This is not a healing memoir; it is a guide and a warning for all those who never stopped to ask, "What happens if my brain begins to fail me?"

I am writing because what I've found is not a destination, but a process. It is an ongoing process for me and for people like me. I also believe it is automate-able using the same techniques we apply to machine-based systems.

I am looking for others who recognize the stakes of the human mind to engage in discussion on the topic.

Happy hacking, Robert

Hi Robert - I have no comments on the human mind, but wanted to say that I enjoyed your work on Warp and I'm glad to hear you're finding a path that's working for you. I've had two relatives with schizophrenia and the difference between the one who found a way to make things work and the one who didn't was very striking (and sad for the one who didn't).

Well, I've reached the end of the book.

I like the systems mindset in the book. I think it's great to introspect and try to debug your own self.

Starting from pages 31-33, I found some interesting things. This book is the product of an internal fight. It's lucid in places, and those are the most interesting. In other chapters... my takeaway is that you can't always come out on top when fighting yourself, but you still have to try.

I was really rooting for the protagonist, there:

>Instead of treating the events like a delusion and having to fight them, I chose to work through them—choosing to believe that somehow I was shown something.

>By treating it as real, working through it as a real problem, I was admittedly taking a gamble. I could totally succumb to my delusions and get stuck in the worlds of the Yoshu and the Mechanicals.

>It would be easy. What I found instead was opportunity

The parts of the book I liked the most are those that break free from Yoshu. The rest breaks my heart.

I will check out your book as I had what I now believe to be trauma schizophrenic response (auditory and visually), and was diagnosed with unspecified schizophrenia in my late teens. I found that dealing with the trauma and dealing with what allows my brain to struggle helped solve things. Now in my mid 30's I am so used to dealing with it without medication it isn't an issue any more but I do have to do a few things every day to make sure I do not get to a place where things are possible.

I found computing and the internet to be the support network and escape network I needed but I could very easily see with a different personality how it could be the source of the issue. I work in engineering now, but i always focus on community projects such as supporting those with mental health challenges or those in prison which allows me to also stay focused on what my problems will always be.

Hello!

I spent a decade hearing voices, in and out of suicidal depression and manic psychosis.

In 2012 I started a process of exploration and growth to heal without medications.

13 years later mission accomplished.

Dr. Paris Williams book Rethinking Madness was a huge help, and recently become a friend and mentor.

Curious to check out your book and approach and to compare notes sometime.