life is phase oriented

when i’m working i find retired people boring

when im taking 6+ month break i find the nervous energy of employed people annoying

ultimately, comfort comes from being around like minded people

then again seeking comfort rings hollow to me, even though it’s quite enjoyable in the moment.

This is especially true around NYC, SF, LA. The culture is built around accomplishment and work identity.

Much less true in other places (e.g. Midwest), where community / taking care of others is valued.

>While intentionally unemployed I'd answer truthfully and with a smile, 'I'm unemployed!' which visibly confused people.

The proper term is "Funemployed"

The people worth knowing were the ones enthusiastically socializing with me after uttering that phrase.

In a business/formal context it would be normal to introduce yourself like this in the countries you've mentioned.

Do people introduce themselves like that in informal contexts in the USA? If so that's indeed a bit weird, and more a topic you would start talking about for small talk or if someone asked about it.

Correct. If you said your title in Spain, you'll get a strange look and someone might respond with "why would you tell me that?". No one there cares what you do for work.

Agree, it's definitely a cultural thing.

I've also lived on a small island where on first meeting, two locals will work out how they're related. I guess similar to the cousin thing.

In the city I currently live in, it's fairly normal for locals to ask where another local went to school within 5 mins of meeting them, because that establishes an identity here.

Not very common as the intro, but pretty common around here (bay area) to get asked that pretty soon after the intro. I don't like it, and I wished people didn't focus so much on it though.

First time I was in San Francisco and someone introduced themselves like that, going even beyond, was indeed a super weird experience being a brazilian.

For some people, their work/job is just such a big part of their identity, that for them this is a problem. That is I guess the point the person you were replying to was trying to make.

It's also not really weird for a job to become such a big part of your identity, when people spend most of their time at work or at home thinking about their work.

Well, the "I'm Marcus" part is saying "I would like you to call me Marcus" I guess.

You're right, it is easy to say. But there's an identity and professional pride and all sorts of stuff wrapped up in the job title that isn't so easy to let go of.

It also leads on to questions like "and what are you doing now?" which get to "I'm lazing around doing nothing because my mental health took a hammering while I was IT Director", and so on. It's all so much easier and tidier with the job title.

It's like when people say their pronouns, but for nouns.

> I found that outside of CA, this is asked a lot less often.

I moved to California a few years ago from the Least Coast (insert shaka, surfer, wave emojis here) and had multiple other out-of-towners in the same situation as me say the exact opposite at a party. They all were adamant that they had yet to hear "what do you do [for a living]?" since they'd moved as they did ad nauseum when they lived on the other side of the country.

I've not noticed either way. My pet theory is that people hear this frequently if their social and professional lives bleed into each other which they do if one lives in a town dominated by a specific industry or profession. Those moving westward during COVID and remote work suddenly had to contend with this much less.

It’s so commonly asked in DC that it’s been a meme in dating circles there for decades.

I really don't like getting asked what I do for a living. I exchange labour for money somewhere out of necessity, what's at all interesting about that? What I do in my free time is who I am, and that's much more interesting to talk about, to me.

I always ask “What do you do for fun?”

"waste management"

If you ever get to talk to people who are more than laborers trading time for dollars, it is great fun. When dollars are just one of the many rewards from their career (where a person spends like 80% of their life energy), you get to hear a lot of passion, learning and growth. It really is a whole different way to live.