I love going out of my way to help people, but hate when people help me or give me gifts. I don’t know how to experience “pure” gratitude that isn’t overwhelmed by guilt.

I should probably talk to somebody about that…

My therapist told me you can't really give if you can't also receive. I'm in the same boat you are. Trying to get better at it.

Allowing people to give to you is a way of giving to them.

I should probably talk to somebody about that…

Couldn’t hurt, because you’re robbing others of the opportunity to help. And, frankly, you’re not alone, I constantly run into folks that feel the need to reciprocate or otherwise make it transactional.