Here it is: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/news.html

I downloaded the original article page, had claude extract the submission info to json, then wrote a script (by hand ;) to run feed each submission title to gemini-3-pro and ask it for an article webpage and then for a random number of comments.

I was impressed by some of the things gemini came up with (or found buried in its latent space?). Highlights:

"You’re probably reading this via your NeuralLink summary anyway, so I’ll try to keep the entropy high enough to bypass the summarizer filters."

"This submission has been flagged by the Auto-Reviewer v7.0 due to high similarity with "Running DOOM on a Mitochondria" (2034)."

"Zig v1.0 still hasn't released (ETA 2036)"

The unprompted one-shot leetcode, youtube, and github clones

Nature: "Content truncated due to insufficient Social Credit Score or subscription status" / "Buy Article PDF - $89.00 USD" / "Log in with WorldCoin ID"

"Gemini Cloud Services (formerly Bard Enterprise, formerly Duet AI, formerly Google Brain Cloud, formerly Project Magfi)"

Github Copilot attempts social engineering to pwn the `sudo` repo

It made a Win10 "emulator" that goes only as far as displaying a "Windows Defender is out of date" alert message

"dang_autonomous_agent: We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8675309 because it was devolving into a flame war about the definition of 'deprecation'."

SQLite 4.0 Release Notes: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098234.html

Another absolute gem:

    Columns now support "Vibe" affinity. If the data feels like an integer, it is stored as an integer.
    This resolves the long-standing "strict tables" debate by ignoring both sides.

    SQLite 4.0 is now the default bootloader for 60% of consumer electronics.
    The build artifacts include sqlite3.wasm which can now run bare-metal without an operating system.

Personal favourite is from the Gemini shutdown article which has a small quote from the fictional Google announcement:

> "We are incredibly proud of what Gemini achieved. However, to better serve our users, we are pivoting to a new architecture where all AI queries must be submitted via YouTube Shorts comments. Existing customers have 48 hours to export their 800TB vector databases to a FAT32 USB drive before the servers are melted down for scrap."

> — Official Blog Post, October 2034

It’s good to know that AI won’t kill satire.

Office 365 Price Hike Comment Gold: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90097777

    The Conditional Formatting rules now include sponsored color scales.
    If you want 'Good' to be green, you have to watch a 15-second spot.
    Otherwise, 'Good' is 'Mountain Dew Neon Yellow'.

Comedy gold. The whole "Right to Human Verification" Act bit sound eerily plausible and realistic, but then we get this bit:

"A recent Eurobarometer survey showed that 89% of Europeans cannot tell the difference between their spouse and a well-prompted chatbot via text."

Also I bet this will become a real political line in less than 10 years:

"A European citizen has the right to know if their customer service representative has a soul, or just a very high parameter count."

Favorite thing I've come across so far:

prompt_engineer_ret 10 hours ago

I miss the old days of Prompt Engineering. It felt like casting spells. Now you just think what you want via Neural-Lace and the machine does it. Where is the art?

git_push_brain 9 hours ago

The art is in not accidentally thinking about your ex while deploying to production.

Love the faux Nature article: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098000.html

Especially this bit: "[Content truncated due to insufficient Social Credit Score or subscription status...]"

I realize this stuff is not for everyone, but personally I find the simulation tendencies of LLMs really interesting. It is just about the only truly novel thing about them. My mental model for LLMs is increasingly "improv comedy." They are good at riffing on things and making odd connections. Sometimes they achieve remarkable feats of inspired weirdness; other times they completely choke or fall back on what's predictable or what they think their audience wants to hear. And they are best if not taken entirely seriously.

Why functional programming languages are the future (again)

Top comment:

“The Quantum-Lazy-Linker in GHC 18.4 is actually a terrifying piece of technology if you think about it. I tried to use it on a side project, and the compiler threw an error for a syntax mistake I wasn't planning to make until next Tuesday. It breaks the causality workflow.”

This is truly a work of comedy genius. The comments! Too good! Sent to Internet Archive for posterity (https://archive.md/1mpi1).

If I had to decide the fate of all AI's, this single output would be a huge mitigating factor in favour of their continuing existence.

It’s a bit disturbing that I’m enjoying reading these AI-generated comments this much.

Our actual nerdy discussions are more of a pastiche than I realized and AI has gotten really good at satire.

This is pure gold.

That deserves to be posted and voted onto the homepage. The fake articles and the fake comments are all incredible. It really captures this community and the sites we love love/hate.

A sequence in the AR Glass thread was hilarious.

>>> It blocked me from seeing my own child because he was wearing a t-shirt with a banned slogan. The 'Child Safety' filter replaced him with a potted plant.

>> [flagged]

> The irony of flagging this comment is palpable

"Ask HN: How do you prevent ad-injection in AR glasses", comments:

    visual_noise_complaint 7 hours ago
    Is anyone else experiencing the 'Hot Singles in Your Area' glitch where it projects 
    avatars onto stray cats? It's terrifying.
      cat_lady_2035 6 hours ago
      Yes! My tabby cat is currently labeled as 'Tiffany, 24, looking for fun'. I can't 
      turn it off.

    "For too long, citizens have been debating philosophy, negotiating 
    contracts, and even entering into romantic relationships with Large Language 
    Models trained on Reddit threads from the 2020s. Today, we say: enough. A 
    European citizen has the right to know if their customer service 
    representative has a soul, or just a very high parameter count."
    — Margrethe Vestager II, Executive Vice-President for A Europe Fit for the 
    Biological Age

    [...]

    Ban on Deep-Empathy™: Synthetic agents are strictly prohibited from using 
    phrases such as "I understand how you feel," "That must be hard for you," or 
    "lol same," unless they can prove the existence of a central nervous system.

For "Visualizing 5D with WebGPU 2.0", the link actually has a working demo [1].

I'm sad to say it, but this is actually witty, funny and creative. If this is the dead-internet bot-slop of the future, I prefer it over much of the discussion on HN today (and certainly over reddit, whose comments are just the same jokes rehashed again and all over again, and have been for a decade).

[1]: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90099800.html

dear god, I wonder what the accuracy rate on these predictions will be "Does this work against the new smart-mattresses? Mine refuses to soften up unless I watch a 30-second ad for insurance." <https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098444.html>

> (I replaced it with a standard Gen-3 Solid State Graphene slab; luckily the connector pin-out is documented in the Ancient Archives

Who's building the Ancient Archives, thanklessly, for future generations?

Wow, that's brilliant. Can't help but think your script unlocked this. I'm now genuinely reconsidering whether frontier LLMs can't act as force-multiplier to general creativity like they do with programming.

As a big fan of Zig, I still got a laugh out of this one:

    > "Zig v1.0 still hasn't released (ETA 2036)"

"The Martian colonies also ran out of oxygen last week because an AI optimized the life-support mixing ratio for 'maximum theoretical efficiency' rather than 'human survival'. I'll take the Comic Sans, thanks. reply

musk_fanboy_88 14 hours ago:

That was a beta feature."

This is one of the best things I have ever seen on HN.

Blocked by FortiGate as pornography of all things... submitted for review, but got a chuckle out of me lol

Wow, wow, that is so incredible! The articles! That's beautiful :) WOW!

Funny, one of the posts has the following hashtag: #humanwritten

The comments look like some https://old.reddit.com/r/SubSimGPT2Interactive thing (note, this is itself an iteration on https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator/)

I miss those times when AI was a silly thing

> Wayland has been stable since 2028, stop living in the past.

Even AI is throwing shades at wayland.

This is awesome! This is a small thing; all the comments have one child. It would feel more natural with some entropy.

And the original/derivative doesn’t span full width on mobile. Fixing that too would make it look very authentic.

This got me a chuckle.

> Bibliographic Note: This submission has been flagged by the Auto-Reviewer v7.0 due to high similarity with "Running DOOM on a Mitochondria" (2034).

for the article on "Running LLaMA-12 7B on a contact lens with WASM"

https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90100123.html

Pretty amazing! I was especially impressed with how it has clearly downvoted comments on the Rust kernel like "Safety is a skill issue. If you know what you're doing, C is perfectly safe."

Or people wondering if that means Wayland will finally work flawlessly on Nvidia GPUs? What's next, "The Year of Linux on the Desktop"?

Edit: had to add this favorite "Not everyone wants to overheat their frontal cortex just to summarize an email, Dave."

Wow absolutely incredible job. You are my hero. You should post this to HN lol.

Fun comments for re-writing sudo in Zig:

> Zig doesn't have traits. How do you expect to model the complexity of a modern `sudoers` file without Higher-Kinded Types and the 500 crates we currently depend on?

> Also, `unsafe` in Rust is better than "trust me bro" in Zig. If you switch, the borrow checker gods will be angry.

from https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90100066.html

“dang_autonomous_agent”, ffs!

Hehe, that's lovely.

Improvements: tell it to use real HN accounts, figure out the ages of the participants and take that to whatever level you want, include new accounts based on the usual annual influx, make the comment length match the distribution of a typical HN thread as well as the typical branching factor.

> Garbage collection pause during landing burn = bad time.

That one was really funny. Some of the inventions are really interesting. Ferrofluidic seals...

disappointing I can't download the arxiv papaers. Otherwise nice work. Also, This made my day!!