Yeah I'm working on the debt part

The car thing I like driving fast/sporty cars, cheapest one for performance would be an older Corvette but yeah (not saying Lambo is performance, that one it's the looks, Exige though is both though different eg. acceleration/curve handling vs. top speed).

I'm just saying, there was a guy I was talking to who owned a Lambo and he's like "if it went up in flames I'd be fine", it's like I have to get to that headspace or maybe I'm not built that way not sure

But yeah I do go back and forward between wanting things/feeling guilty for being better off than others

It sounds like you're trying to feel what you're supposed to feel according to other people, and then feeling anxious about that's not how you actually feel? which sounds hard. I'm pretty sure the only way to be that makes any sense, however, is to feel what you actually feel, and if someone tries to make that seem wrong or bad, tell them (mentally or out loud) to fuck off. It's not possible to force yourself to feel differently than you feel--that's, like, what a feeling is. If something makes you think you should modify your feelings, it's wrong, like it's a complete category error; you can only react to them, not will them to change.

Not that I don't fall in the same trap, but, y'know, it's an aspiration.

and personally I'd judge the hell out of someone who owned a lambo and didn't care about it going up in flames. We get it, they want people to think they're so rich that they don't care about their own possessions. All I hear is a person try to say certain things in order to make you find them impressive.