it is a good thing. Ironically hard effort leads to happiness. A life spent scaling mountains is happier then a life spent on the couch.

It's just where you are right now, the happiness part is not apparent. It's because it's a long term thing.

If porn or computers or TV or junk food didn't exist, you'd have nothing better to do then for mind numbing self improvement. Miserable, but in the long term you end up building something that makes you happier and more fulfilled. You build up resistance to the short term pain. And eventually depending on your case, the pain disappears completely. You start to enjoy scaling the mountain.

With sex specifically, the results are inversely proportional to the effort. Putting a lot of time into seducing a woman is seen as desperate and creepy. The men who are getting laid the most just walk into a bar and women throw themselves at them.