With sex specifically, the results are inversely proportional to the effort. Putting a lot of time into seducing a woman is seen as desperate and creepy. The men who are getting laid the most just walk into a bar and women throw themselves at them.

They get rejected too. They become numb to that pain. Eventually they get laid.

Part of the pain is getting seen as desperate and creepy. The goal is to become numb to this. To not care.