> Why are the fancy ones all top cut instead of side cut? It's just weird that way.

How very dare you. They're the superior cut and it's appalling side cut even exists. To answer your question though it's because that cut originates from New England and is used for "higher end" foods like lobster rolls. So they're perceived as fancier.

But they're just objectively better. Side cut buns are uneven which makes sense for a sandwich where you a thicker top bun but is utterly ridiculous for a top facing slice. Can you imagine a taco where one half of the tortilla was like three times as thick? Like look at this https://imgur.com/tF9uBp7 — absurd. That little flappy thing just falls apart. Also the flat part of the roll is at the bottom so when you top cut your hot dog can stand upright on the plate and not fall over. Typically the sides of top cut rolls are also flat which makes grilling/toasting the roll much easier. You get a delicious crispy buttery on the outside fluffy on the inside roll.

>that cut originates from New England and is used for "higher end" foods like lobster rolls.

Yeah. Because it would suck if your hand-picked lobster fell out of your bun onto the ground (It also allows you to pour melted butter over the top, something you can't do on a sidecut bun).

If you like hot dogs I would hope you feel the same way about your hot dog.

My closest grocery store (an Albertsons in SoCal) completely lacks any top-cut hotdog buns. They have 9 different varieties of side-cut buns (Including 2 varieties of potato rolls; I counted). I'm from Rhode Island, so this situation is rather unacceptable to me.

I did wonder if that one provocative statement would even be noticed :-)

You make a good argument. I see the functional point of a top cut. Helps prevent condiment excursions. Less likely to break in half. BUT, it's just so much bread. And the hotdog does want to pop out.

I'm unaware of any baseball park or hotdog stand where top-cut buns are sold. This is clearly an established best practice. Hotdog consumers have made an aesthetic choice here.

I'm with you 90%. However, side-cut buns have one advantage top-cut buns don't: if you're very careful and a little bit lucky, you can open them all the way and toast them face down on a griddle with butter.

Clearly we need a special cooking tool that is like a toaster heating element that can be buttered and inserted into a top-cut bun to get the best of both worlds.

Why are they even cut at all!? Do people not have knives any more?

you should compromise... pigs in the blanket.