Well said. In essence grey rocking itself is a form of defensive manipulation. Most of us are prosocial and find it really laborious to keep up. It's an ok tactic when communication is ineffective or harmful. It is probably a bad idea to use it with someone you simply have a point of friction with. It can be hard to know the difference sometimes though.

Maybe, but not all of us really need to do this. It seems to me that “gray rocking“ is a corrective strategy for the type of person who easily overreacts.

Put another way, the type of person who is naturally “boring” and not very reactive probably won’t get themselves tangled with the kind of person that needs to be “grey rocked”. If you are always a gray rock, then you are not an easy target for a manipulator.

Manipulation is right. It can also be used as an offensive manipulation. In relationships, grey rocking can be a punitive form of emotional abuse. Adjacent to silent treatment or stonewalling. Sometimes people may justify it to themselves as a tactic for when communication is ineffective, but more often than not, it’s avoiding the type of communication that’s needed in healthy relationships.

I knew a person who constantly grayrocked even people she has never met before who she totally could have been open with. Just like any method you can use or abuse it.

If you find yourself in the blast radius of an abusive narcissistic person for example, grayrocking is totally a decent way to deal with them, while keeping your calm. But using it towards everybody whom you're not 100% on board with is probably a bit overkill.