> Something many of us value is simplicity

Simplicity is a good metric but a lousy goal. If simplicity was a good goal, Brainfuck dialect would be the most used language.

> Different programmers want contradictory things out of programming languages

True to an extent but there are universal qualities every good language shares.

Ease of use; good performance even in naive cases; good safety/security even in naive cases; expressivity; fast compile times; conciseness.