It is equally obvious why not reporting rape is bad, but many don't. It is easy to blame the victim when you are not they, but it is not so easy when you're actually in it and have to process the emotions. Being manipulated into having extramarital affairs is not the norm for 60-something married guys. A large segment of 60-something married guys are invisible to the world; often even to their own wife. It is not something people normally grow up around to see how to handle themselves.