>so either one can assume women should always have bodily autonomy, or the other option which is women sometimes do not have bodily autonomy

Framing it as a question of women's bodily autonomy assumes there is only one person involved, which is exactly what abortion opponents dispute. So your framing doesn't settle the issue.

The crux of the issue is if and when the thing in the tummy is a person.

Yes and you keep asserting this as if it’s some revelation. We all know.

You ask us to acknowledge the stakes for them, yet they push forward as if the matter of personhood has been clearly decided (it hasn’t). Do you tell them the same thing?

They have taken away a the right for somebody to control what happens with their body even though allowing it has no impact on what they do with theirs. That is a huge decision to make without a concrete basis.