You are really stretching!

The reality of dirty clothes getting her bed dirty comes from physics, not me.

Edit: As another example, I might impose the end of TV time but still give a brief reason of it not being good for your concentration to watch too much. The point is not that every explanation will be understood, but to at least demonstrate that there is a reason for preventing fun things, even if it's complex and confusing - it's not me just enjoying her being upset.

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bonoboTP 12 hours ago | parent [-]

I sometimes see parents doing this "always rationally explain everything to the small kid and expect them to simply follow and accept the logic" tactic in public and it seems... Ineffective.

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quietbritishjim 12 hours ago | parent | next [-]

No, I explained that already in my comment. It was in an edit, maybe you drafted your reply before that. I said:

> The point is not that every explanation will be understood, but to at least demonstrate that there is a reason for preventing fun things, even if it's complex and confusing.

If I tell my 3 year old that watching too much TV will affect her concentration, I absolutely don't expect her to make a complex long-term value judgement, or even to know what the word "concentration" means. I also don't expect her to just say "oh fair enough then". As I said, it's just to demonstrate that there is a reason (even if she doesn't understand it) beyond my own satisfaction.

Can you really not see that there are three possibilities here:

1. "I don't care if you're upset, so that's what we're doing".

2. "I don't want you to be upset, and although there's a good reason, if I can't persuade you logically then you can have it your way"

3. "I don't want you to be upset, but there's a good reason, so that's what we're doing"

(Edit: Having written that, the last one is still not quite right. The point is to acknowledge why that have that feeling - not just assert that they're upset. Usually it's pretty simple e.g. they want to carry on playing. But it does take more effort than either of the other approaches.)

> I sometimes see parents ...

In my experience (from casual observation), the very worst behaved children have uncaring parents that shout and scream at them.

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vharuck 10 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

It's a long game thing. My kid surprises me with how far back he can remember the things I've said. He'll say them like he came up with them independently. That means those words are getting through and being internalized.

	▲	testing22321 10 hours ago \| parent [-]
		My almost three year old shocks me every day with the stuff she remembers- things we did, things I said, etc. Not just outright memory either, but applying logic to those memories “last time we left the car alone we said it would be lonely, now the bike is alone so it will be lonely”