Yet, in all that noise, a git bisect will still function to find when a bug was introduced.

Do the math yourself: A bug is picked up 2 week after commit. In the meantime, a good 4096+ commits have happened since. You are looking for the pathological case, at +- 12 commits.

Do you think each and every one of those are going to be "good" commits, commits that still "compile" or function. Possible, but unlikely given the insane velocity.