what is even the point of these now? labs are most definitely training on this question now. I feel like this test scratches the surface of a "real" test for these new models

It attracts at least one comment like yours on every single thread, so I guess the main purpose is to kick off a race to see who can post that comment first.

I enjoy it. Many readers here look specifically for Simon's pelican comment when a new model launches

Memes and self-promotion.

It's merely become part of the culture of new model drops even as it's become a bit less useful as a diagnostic.

low version doesn't have a chain.

Medium and high are fixies apparently, (or they have a worm gear, although the hub doesn't look big enough for that), since neither has a derailleur. That would also explain the lack of brakes at least.

Low is still obviously failing the "test". It's pedals are not actually attached to the bike either.

Medium has a handlebar that goes through the pelican's beak. So I'd say also failing.

For the high, the only nitpick would be that the bell isn't quite on the handlebars and the stripes on his scarf don't line up correctly.

It seems to be a deadpan inside joke around here that everyone pretends to care about the pelican test.