If your experience was actually worse than my astonishingly janky mobile experience, that would be pathetic. Pretty bad. It looked cool for a second, and then when I tried to zoom in to where I live, I was instantly too irritated to bother.

Yes, and I insisted quite a bit because I was curious about a coast. I wonder if this is some kind of UI Neuralese, maybe the simulated scroll/touch attempts made sense to only it.