> But you can't say something like: neglect is good because it makes people stronger. It could be true for your life and what you value, but it's not objectively true.

Oh neglect is terrible; simultaneously the worst and the least recognized type of abuse.

My point is that adaptations to abuse vary enough that some can be more "desirable" than others (in addition to being more fit for the environment / the world at large in some cases), and someone stuck in a "worse" one could end up longing for a "better" one. Though, sometimes I long for "worse" ones myself as someone who feels "better" than I should be, so maybe the grass is just always greener.