Major dang: "I advise that this thread be shut down at once."

Captain tomhow: "But everybody's having such a good time."

Major dang: "Yes, much too good a time. The discussion is to be closed."

Captain tomhow: "But I have no excuse to close it."

Major dang: "Find one."

Captain tomhow: "Everybody is to leave immediately! This Hacker News discussion is closed until further notice! Clear the thread at once!"

DonHopkins: "How can you shut us down? On what grounds?"

Captain tomhow: "I am shocked -- shocked -- to find that films are being spoiled in here!"

infotainment: "The ending you requested, sir."

Captain tomhow: "Oh. Thank you very much. Everybody out at once!"