different people with ADHD have different symptoms or effects. I think yes it absolutely matters because I have always secretly been hard on myself, that I am worse than others, struggled under extreme rejection sensitivity. It matters and helps, if only to be able to be a little kinder to yourself and have the ability to decide to get help in the form of a therapist, or medication, or find strategies that worked for others.

I'm ADHD and really struggle with similar things. I've been leading a really lonely life because I tend to isolate after any friction with people, assuming they don't like me anymore.

I know to people without this problem it probably sounds very childish and silly, but it's a real problem. I lack a lot of the inner social calibration of what is a big problem and what is not so I very often have social issues because I say something hurtful (unintentionally) and don't realize why it's a big problem. Then I say other stuff that other people are actually fine (or mostly fine) with but I stress out about it and agonize and isolate myself.

I also identify with being super hard on myself. For a recent example I replaced a door in my house recently. I had never done this before. I bought a power routing saw and cut the hinge mortises myself. Two of them were basically perfect, one of them was a bit jagged and it was off by 2 millimeters when I went to hang the door. I spent the next four hours pissed off at myself for fucking up the door!

After doing a franky great job for my first ever attempt at hanging a door, and never using a routing saw before. :/

That's not normal levels of self criticism