It swears like a pirate, has an anatomy to complain about (antennas are ears, ports are fingers, the flash is its gut), and costs a couple of dollars a month. So far it has told me about a Dropbox LAN-sync port, somebody's DNS-over-TLS, and my own laptop waking up. None of it is useful. MIT, install script included.

600 lines of Lua on the router itself. lua + cjson + curl, one cron tick a minute, no cloud collector, no agent framework. It reads /proc and iwinfo, keeps a rolling 45-minute history of every reading in tmpfs, and only calls a model when something falls outside its own normal range. Then it decides whether that's worth saying, and usually it isn't.

A Gibson joke that got out of hand. In Mona Lisa Overdrive the Finn ends up as a construct in an armoured box bolted into an alley, and people come by to hear the oracle grumble. I had a GL-MT3000 on the office wall, so.

A joke, perhaps, but I also think you stumbled into some of that unevenly distributed future.