This is FANTASTIC! I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair.

Have you seen DNSControl?

If you want a serious alternative to the Route53 API, there's an open source project called https://dnscontrol.org/ DNSControl. It's like Terraform for DNS but it doesn't suck like Terraform.

Version v5.0 just shipped. It's a major rewrite that makes it much more extensible.

https://github.com/DNSControl/dnscontrol/releases/tag/v5.0.0

I'll recommend dnscontrol as well, although the post is an unseasonal April fools joke, so helpful suggestions may be out of place.

The is-a.dev project uses dnscontrol to manage a subdomain registration service in GitHub, which is really clever. See https://github.com/is-a-dev/register