> downside: - more traffic - more noise - more pollution - more anonymity, crime (people in small towns leave their doors unlocked and say hi on the sidewalk)

Ah, yes, we live in a black-and-white world where this always happens, and so does this:

> upside: - high paying, specialized jobs - specialized, high quality services - stores open late - better dating (more fish in the sea)

There plenty of VERY affluent rural-ish areas.

There are also plenty of very nice places to live with high density that have FAR less crime rates that typical rural America, minimal traffic or noise, and far less pollution than you can find anywhere remotely rural and industrial or even agricultural areas.

The reality is - there's a lot of Karens that will do anything they can to deny everyone else of anything else they can possibly deny.

That's a large component of NIMBYism. These types will find any reason to justify it.