> Many of the command-line tools I use have been around for quite some time now1 but they still work admirably and allow me to do things like this:2

> [...]

> If this reads like gibberish to you, my younger hothead self, full of (neo)vim and vigor, would have hit you with the old “Linux is very user-friendly; it’s just also super picky about its friends.” Yes, younger me was adept at making enemies like a craftsman

No, it reads like you are an entitled fanboi and need to touch gra^W^W talk with a real human beings outside your small citrcle of nerds. Even better - to work a couple of weeks with your own hands and your own back. That helps.