As a single and childless person, I don't like the implication that those are marks of a less fulfilling life. I know some people married with kids who seem very happy and fulfilled, and some profoundly miserable and trapped. I may be missing out on some good things, but I'm also avoiding some extreme misery, and generally do feel content and fulfilled.

Thanks for sharing that. Obviously respect your choices on the individual level.

The contrast you provided between those who are happy with family and those two seem miserable is in line with what I am saying: it's both 'be smart about what you persue' and 'be smart about how you persue it.' So likely the first group was 'smarter' about who they chose as a spouse and how they set up the life with them than the second group.

So maybe we can score the miserable group as a -1, the happy group as a +1 and your avoidance strategy as in-between: 0.

So you can look at your strategy as good because it avoids the extreme misery but it also denies a shot at extreme happiness. And then if one were to go that potentially high risk/high reward path, their actual outcome (are they happy or miserable) is a function of how smartly they persue that endeavor.

Part of being smart is being able to diagnose certain ideas as dogmatic, which is far more than can be expected from most.

"Most people would die sooner than think—in fact, they do so" — Bertrand Russell