I'm shocked by the amount of time people who don't have kids waste.

So while PG may believe that people may have their "act already together" pre-kids, I sort of look at the amount of time people without kids waste and think "if only I had that much free time..."

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ryandrake 3 hours ago | parent | next [-]

At every point in my life after age 25 or so, I could look back 10 years and be appalled at how much time I wasted back then. 50-year-old me is angry at 40-year-old me for wasting my 40s, as 25-year-old me was angry at 15-year-old me for wasting my high school time. What a waste my youth always seems!

	▲	ColdStream 37 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		I generally tend to not have that feeling. For me to feel like it is wasted is to put on a definition of the time period that wasn't there. It is internal personal fan fiction at that point. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. There is also the added point of whatever position you take, it is always a trade off with something else. To be awfully reductionist. The fat people envy the skinny because their health is in check, the skinny envy the fat because they have a sense of care free freedom.

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thsbrown 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Reminds me of that saying "The youth is wasted on the young". It's only once we truly have no time do we realize how much time we really had.

I love my kids but they take a lot of time. Wouldn't change it for the world though.

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funnygiraffe 33 minutes ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Not sure this is fully accurate. Managing kids can use up one's will power or self control resources considerably. There can also be sleep deprivation with young children and other energy drain. I'm not really sure but my focus / ability to avoid distractions at work may actually have gotten worse since having kids.

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jongjong 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Yes. Before I became a dad, I didn't realize how physically and financially constrained people are with regards to number of kids that they have. For me and my wife, our first child took all our time, resources and energy.

This was a shock to me because my parents had 4 children and never seemed to struggle. Also, they were much better off than me financially and could afford to hire help.

My biggest achievement as a dad is the fact that my son speaks 3 languages. In spite of the fact that I was working full time, he still learned to speak my native language fluently from me. And I still did house chores too. And still worked on side hustles at night and weekends.

But yes, I had no life at all for 5 years straight. No life at all. I'm a shell of my former self. My main concern is that I'm showing my son a bad example of how a dad should be. I literally can't afford to raise him with the same values as I was raised with... Because he would grow up into someone like me and that would be my greatest fear.

Now I understand why some parents spoil their children and focus 100% on boosting the child's confidence. This is what you have to do if you're poor. Because you need your child to believe they are above you. That way when they see how shit your life is, they don't have to believe theirs will also end up like this.

	▲	ColdStream 34 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		I appreciate the intention you and others are bringing. Not to be defeatist, but I do wonder how much of trying to set it straight sticks long term? People have been trying to straighten things out for millennia and we are still in this predicament. That isn't to say, don't try. It is to say, don't cling to an out come.

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erredois 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Nothing teaches productivity better than being a participating parent.