Everything you’re saying is how I feel as a native English speaker and it drives me absolutely nuts. People in airports are obsessed with telling you what you can’t do.

The one thing that kind of works for me is, “Well, what should I do?” when they bark orders about what I can’t do.

“You can’t have your boarding pass in your hand!”, when you’re in the x-ray. “Where should I put it now?”

Oh well, it turns out I actually can have it in my hand. Thanks.