The other thing that I think people tend to forget is that there are plenty of situations where N+1 queries just aren't that big a deal. Not every view in every application that every developer builds needs to handle massive amounts of traffic with low latency and high cardinality tables. I've built so many apps where there's one or two users, small amounts of data, etc. And even on apps that do have a lot of traffic, there are often internal/admin/maintenance views that don't have the same requirements and no one will notice an N+1 where N = 5 in the worst possible case.

Every time ORMs get discussed, it seems to be dominated by people who are like "but my app has 5 billion concurrent users doing 2 million requests per second and if there's an extra 5ms on my requests, it will all explode!" and can't comprehend that not everyone is building the same kind of systems all the time. Great, maybe an ORM isn't appropriate for your situation.

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