I think people should foster "regular things" in the tiny things in their life. Not huge group potlucks/etc.

If you go to lunch with a friend, ask "would you like to do this regularly?"

lunch/walk/hike/movie/dinner/gaming/sewing/driving/<your-idea-here>

weekly/every two weeks/every first saturday of the month

don't worry about flakiness

I've done this with a few people and my life has gotten better.

at first it was a little awkward, but people RESPONDED to it. Others need this too!

My regular thing is Monday coworking at a specific cafe. It’s a great way to start the week. Sometimes there is six or seven of us. Sometimes just two. Sometimes we get dinner or drinks after or go to karaoke next door.

Another is regular coffee + sports with a friend. We are slowly meeting and playing with the other regulars there and entering small tournaments.

Still, it does require worrying about flakiness. It’s hard to get something off the ground if you can’t get enough commitment to book a table or even put it in your calendar . At some point if people want to make friends they should act like they care.

It’s really frustrating that the person already making the effort to organise things should take on the emotional toll of making everyone else’s life as noncommittal as possible.

You are spot on.

Throughout school, my mates would meet up at a lookout on Wednesday @ 3-5ish PM, go grab dinner and just hang out.

Been doing this for 7 years straight. There is enough of us that someone being sick or away doesn't impact anything.