I think jdnier nailed the phrases that most stuck out for me. I also agree that I would rather hear your own voice, even if you think it's less polished.

The problem is when reading something that has those LLM tells, I immediately wonder if any of the information has been vetted, and I wonder just how much LLM-fluff I'm going to have to wade through to get the information.

I can see you didn't just let the LLM do everything here and your own experience has guided and shaped the article. It is a good article overall, but the LLM-isms create a nagging sense of doubt about the quality which is hard to shake.