Keep work life and personal life separate. No exceptions. If a company tries to encourage you to do otherwise I’d strongly suggest you find a new employer.

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Arainach 3 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Most people prefer to work with humans, not robots. Common experiences and getting to know people are a huge part of that.

Sharing stories and getting to know people humanizes them. It's much easier to hate "that team in another country" you've never met than that person you've had a meal together with and learned about their hobbies.

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solatic 2 hours ago | parent | next [-]

There's a huge difference between learning that your colleague also happens to play chess, and sharing the vulnerability of how you handled personal grief in your life.

Your workplace is a community, not a friendship circle, and not a family. Community life has always had a certain level of formality to help paper over the differences between people in the community while still fostering a positive, inclusive environment.

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annzabelle an hour ago | parent [-]

I think that's something people have increasingly forgotten. My grandparents were active in their church for decades. They didn't talk about my grandmother's serious mental health struggles with the other parishioners.

People in the past had stronger community institutions, and I think a part of that was that nobody expected to bring their whole self to bowling club or the neighborhood potluck.

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vel0city 37 minutes ago | parent [-]

It's a balance though, isn't it? Like, sure, don't bring your whole self to every single bowling game, you're there to bowl so focus at the task at hand. Nobody is going to have a good time if every bowling game devolves into every little emotional issue anyone in the group is having.

But that doesn't mean those relationships originally started at the bowling club need to stay purely about bowling, a big part of community is to then open up when the context is right and when the other person is open to the sharing. It's how you grow your community, how you grow your circle. Don't expect every person in your bowling league wants to become your best friend ever, but it's also not healthy to assume that everyone there only ever wants to just bowl and only cares about bowling.

I've had a lot of people from work relationships that stayed purely work relationships. I've had some become friends. I've had several become important people in my life. If I forced myself to silo off work contacts are only ever work contacts, I don't think I'd be nearly as happy as I am today. I know I'd be a lot more lonely and probably a good bit less successful.

We talk about this huge loneliness epidemic and yet so many people are like "I would never talk to my fellow coworkers about anything personal, ever." Huh I wonder why we're so lonely. We're all convinced we should t be personal with the people we spend a massive amount of our lives with.

	▲	annzabelle 19 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		I mostly feel that people should be more selective about who and how they open up to in general in life. There's a lot to talk about that's not your past experiences with depression, and those don't need to be talked about to 99% of people, and discussing them too early is an easy way to burn bridges before they're even built. I definitely talk to my coworkers about what I did this weekend, or travel, or the weather (I'm halfway around the world from my home country, so comparing the weather is a constant topic of conversation). I have a coworker I carpool with and we talk some about how I'm settling in to life here. But, I will never discuss my history of mental illness with any of these people. At best I will make a vague allusion to seasonal blues.

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cmiles8 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Not saying you can’t discuss basic details like did you do anything interesting this weekend, but these things like “share deep personal details” as mentioned in the article have no place at work.

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esikich 2 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Not to mention a lot of things get solved/decided over beers at happy hour. Coworkers shouldn't be your best friends but you're a fool if you're not friendly with them. Like you said, people aren't robots and a business isn't a machine.

	▲	singingtoday an hour ago \| parent [-]
		Not yet anyways. Not all of them.

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thmoonbus an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

If I’m going to be seeing the people I work with as much as I see my family, I’m going to try to make some friends. I’d argue the bigger risk is not making friends at work given the loneliness epidemic, especially among middle aged and older men.