People can absolutely have complicated feelings about things that help them.

My life is sustained by medicine produced by large international pharma companies, and I also feel really uncomfortable about that.

Exactly right. We all have to survive on a personal level - that's our instinct. But we can only try and minimize our impact and do the best we can, even though on a global scale supporting the current system is not a good thing in many cases.

I don't think badly of anyone who uses AI who makes a living because, survival. But on the other hand, I think the world would be better off without it. One can still wish for a better world while trying to survive in the current one using the tools at one's disposal, even if that situation is suboptimal.

That’s fair, I think it’s possible to be both grateful for the existence of capitalism funding research into those companies and disgust over how much money they make.