Always boggles my mind that some people can't write cursive. So you write each letter one by one?

Sort of. For most letters, my print strokes are the same as cursive (except r and s) but lifting up the pen between letters. Even when I was practiced in cursive, I never felt like it added any time to lift and lower the pen, any more than the time it already took to move the pen to the right, but doing so improved legibility. Its not like I'm consciously thinking about each letter, unlike caligraphy or drafting block print.

I haven't written cursive in many years, i should try it again but since i'm out of practice i find it takes more time to write than going print. Which of course does lead to hand cramps etc

Yes. When I write cursive and want to be able to read after myself I need to write very slowly and deliberately.

All my childhood I optimized my cursive writing for speed. Most teachers I had only valued note taking, not thinking about what is written.

I connect letters that are easy to connect and pick up my pen on others. Anything that flows into the next, cursive. Anything where you have to contort and lead in or out with fiddly little bits and then just write the letter anyhow, I just skip all that and write it plain.

Ummm, yes. Especially for those of us who may have had less than ideal schooling.